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Parenting

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Original poster

I've just called my DD stupid....repeatedly :(

8 replies

Spagblog · 08/04/2008 21:20

I found some hardened chewing gum under her pillow and asked where she had got it from. She kept lying to me and in the end confessed that she had picked it off the skanky street near our house and had tried to chew it.

I was so disgusted and disappointed in her that I called her stupid.

This isn't the first time we have had to tell her off about chewing gum...she "found" some in the house and managed to get it in her little brothers hair.

I feel awful that I have called her stupid and reduced her to tears.

How can I redeem my actions without backing down from how disgusted in her actions I am?

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dirtygertiefromnumber30 · 08/04/2008 21:26

HOw old is she?

I would go and apologise and give her a cuddle and say you know she's not stupid, you meant that the action itself was stupid, rather than her, iyswim.

Then just lecture on hygeine and germs etc and say you were only so cross because you love her and you dont want her getting ill.

WigWamBam · 08/04/2008 21:26

She's 6, yes?

They do lie - because they know you'll be angry if they tell the truth. What they haven't worked out yet is that lying makes you even angrier!

I think that you should go and give her a hug. Tell her that you're sorry for calling her names, that she's not stupid, that you love her - but that you didn't like what she did, and it has made you angry and cross that she lied.

Tell her why it makes you cross, tell her why you were so angry with her. But make sure that she knows it's not her that you are disgusted with, but what she did.

uberalice · 08/04/2008 21:28

You have my sympathies - I've said it too when I've been in a rage. Tell her how sorry you are for losing it like that, but that you are still very disappointed in her.

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/04/2008 21:28

Go and apologise. Explain that you are upset with her behaviour but you shouldnt have attacked her verbally.

Then ask her why she's doing this, and ask her what you all can do to stop her doing this.

Hulababy · 08/04/2008 21:28

Agree with what has been said. Go and give her a cuddle, apologise for calling her stupid. Explain that her behaviour was very silly and very unhygienic and that she mustn't do that - germs and all.

Original poster

Spagblog · 08/04/2008 21:34

Thanks, yes she is 6.
I will have to wait until the morning now as she is asleep now.

I just spoke to DH who is away and he was totally disgusted by what she had done especially because he had told her off for trying to pick up old gum in town this week.
He wants to know whether she could have picked up anything like hepatitus?

He is a bit neurotic, but really? Could she?

OP posts:

DoodleToYou · 08/04/2008 21:37

Message withdrawn

WigWamBam · 08/04/2008 22:33

Highly unlikely she's picked anything up from it. Particularly as she's only "tried" to chew it.

6 year olds are curious about everything - they just have to find out for themselves what things do. And chewing gum is interesting because it's unusual in a lot of ways - it feels sticky, it's stretchy, it smells sweet ... and it's forbidden, so attractive for that reason alone.

I'd say it's best not to make too big a deal out of it - the more forbidden something is, the more attractive it is. And she's still a bit little to take on adult sensibilities about hygiene and so on.

Just tell her that a dog might have weed on it. That's enough to stop my 6 year old from picking rubbish up from the floor!

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