How often should babys father have our baby

[Caw2024]

Hi everyone
I'm 28, female & have a 5 month old baby girl

My ex (babys father) is 29

We split up about 3 months ago due to his behaviour but that's another topic of conversation!

He still wants to be in babys life which is great and in all fairness he's a good dad to our baby.

Anyways I had to quit my job when we had the baby to be a full time mum and he still Contined working obviously. Since the split up he wants to have the baby every other day. Which means for me every other day I'm having to be home by certain times of day for him to pick up baby. He finishes work different times every day as he is a builder, it could be 2 in the afternoon, it could be 5 in the evening. I'm constantly having to rush home to his demand "I want my daughter now I've finished work I'm not waiting around all day!"

I'm finding it too much him having her every other day (most people would probably like this) but I'm finding its getting in the way of MY life and personally I'd have an easier day keeping my daughter with me, than rushing home to be ready and waiting for him!

I would much prefer if he had her let's say 2 days a week but for a longer time let's say, maybe even an over night and then few hours the next day.

Am I being selfish and hard work? Or do I have a point

What do you guys think, and if you guys co parent how do you do it? How often do your children's fathers have the kids?

Yanbu to expect a proper schedule..
Don't spell it out as it's inconvenient for you but say your dc needs stability. You are also entitled to have quality time doing things with your dc not cutting short your plans to rush back for him.
He is imo using your dc to control you and your life...

This is exactly how i feel! Like it's more about control!

His answer is.. Well you're with her 24/7 what he doesn't realise is alot of my time spent with my daughter is running around to shops, getting, nappys, wipes essentials, doctor/health visitor Appointments, house hold chores etc.

Just because I am the full time parent doesn't mean me and baby are having the time of our life every single day. I spend most of my time on my feet all day and actually not spending quality/1 on 1 time with baby

But he doesn't see it like that

He's just trying intentionally or not to.control you .
Just say baby is settling into a routine so you can get her at x y z day and times, and stick to it.

The problem is his motivations might be wrong but the result is in your baby's best interests: shorter, frequent visits are better for babies than overnights away from their primary caregiver. I certainly wouldn't push for that but you are well within your rights to give him set times he can come to see her.