Single mum - help. I’m drowning

[Littlechesnuttree]

So my husband of 7 years went on holiday and never came back (3 weeks ago, not dead just a shithead).

he’s left me with 2 young children. 4 and 2. I work full time. New role in probation strict 3 day in office rule.

im fucking drowning. I need to work to live. I need to be up at 6 to get breakfast before school and get ready for work myself. Im doing the bare min house wise meaning it’s all pilling up, like clean laundry etc. I tidy kitchen and kids tear apart lounge. I have no one, no village, no family (see other thread for dm situation). I’m not getting to bed before midnight most nights, I get back at 6 from work, get kids, reheat dinner, by the time they’ve tantrumed and then eaten it’s nearly 7. Then the bedtime routine, books, bath, tidying etc and then bed at 8/8:30

then I normally have to finish work I’ve not done in the day and then I need to properly clean up, sort food for the next day and before I know it it’s 11pm or later.

honestly I’m drowning

how do single mums handle it and work full time

Keep. Going.

You've doing what matters.

I think of my life as juggling glass balls and bouncy balls. The glass ones will shatter if they're dropped (like the kids and work), the bouncy ones will bounce until you get to them (like the washing). Ask for help if you can x

The glass ones are dropping and help from who? I have no one, my mum visited and cleared out my friidge of food and refused to pay me back. Literally have no one

Perhaps ask work for a few days off? It's just hard x

Lone parent to three young kids work full time with no family to help with school run and stuff, occasional help from a parent and lots of emotional support but the vast majority of it falls to me and has done for several years.
it is brutal. But you can do and not just because you have to be it because you are a strong woman and a good mum showing your kids what parenting means and simultaneously sticking two fingers up at their “dad”
as @Royalbloo analogy describes my life is like that.
you will get through it but you have my every sympathy and empathy.

Sounds like you're doing amazingly actually, keeping it together nicely.
What an arsehole.
Can you afford any help, cleaner to do laundry or anything?
Otherwise look after yourself, let anything slide that can slide, focus on your own the kids' wellbeing.
You're in very early days and I think you're managing brilliantly, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you'll find your rhythm, it will all get easier.

Could you take a bit of time off
in oiei t get on top of things? Is there anyway you could afford a cleaner to come maybes once a fortnight and do things you don’t have time for?

Any way the children can be fed before home? I'm a single mum to a nearly 4YO and have been since she was 2. I get her to bed by 6.30 even now so I can get things done before bed. But she gets her tea at nursery which really helps. We are up by 6.30.

Can you do slightly shorter or longer hours on wfh days to free up some time to get house jobs done before you're so shattered?

Sending love. You'll settle into routines and find corners you can cut. I've had to lower the bar way more than I'd have liked. But it's about survival

(Appreciate I only have one DC. I did get left with three dogs some chickens and some gerbils also though, so still a lot of juggling! I do have a cleaner I e kept since the split and it takes so much pressure off just having the downstairs blitzed once a week).

@Littlechesnuttree just seen your other thread you have had some good advice and tips on there.
definitely just bath every other night and hot water / flannel washed the other one unless they come home from nursery filthy which my three all did so I ised
to shit them in potties on the shower cubicle floor and give them a quick rinse 🤣
two nights a week we have the same
meals which aren’t that healthy but their fill them and they have fruit /
yoghurts afterwards.
I fold as much clothing as I can and get their clothes / bags ready the night before.
some cleaners aren’t too expensive I have a great one for £20 for two hours and she is fantastic.

I need to potty train my youngest but he’s so resistant to it and honestly I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know where to begin

i can’t condense my hours either the company don’t offer it