Toxic Friend?

[flowergod13]

My daughter is 9 and has become friends with a girl in her class at school. They seem to get on well having similar interests.

I have noticed at this age that the girls at school are starting to form smaller friendship groups and given my daughter doesn’t seem to have many close friends I have encourage this friendship by play dates and coming over to the house at the weekends. The girl is now asking to come over every weekend and demands that she calls her as soon as she is home from school.

This last week my daughter came out of school and informed us that her friend had told her she had a crush on her?!
So I asked what did you say - “well I agreed to be her girlfriend, but only till end of the year and then we will break up”
I asked why and she said that she didn’t want to her girlfriend but she seemed “kinda desperate” so just agreed and thought that the friend will “probably just forget about it”

So we had the talk around how you make your own decisions and do not let anyone force you to do/be you do not want to etc.
It resulted in my daughter agreeing to speak with friend to understand whether she was joking and if not then explain to her that she did not want to be her girlfriend but would like to remain friends.

According to daughter this convo took place and although she said friend was upset as she was being serious, she was happy to be friends.

Prior to this, I became aware that my daughter was watching an adult cartoon (rated 18) which friend has introduced to her on YouTube. I stopped this and told her that this was inappropriate and you are not to watch this.

My concern here is this friend seems quite pushy and obviously being introduce to mature themes at (in my opinion) a young age and whilst each to their own as a parent I am concerned about my daughter mixing with her.

The latest is that she no longer wants to wear summer dresses for school - it was only earlier in week that she asked me to order her more… I noticed her friend does not wear dresses so I am assuming (maybe incorrectly) that she has been encourage to not to wear dresses)

Interested in people’s thoughts and what you would you do if anything?

Reinforce Self-Identity: Help your daughter feel confident in her own preferences, such as wearing dresses if she likes them. Explain that it’s okay to be different from her friends and that true friends will respect her choices.

Supervised Interactions: Continue to supervise their interactions more closely, especially during playdates. This can help you get a better sense of their dynamic and intervene if necessary.

Involve the School: If you’re concerned about the nature of the friendship, consider discussing it with her teacher. Teachers can provide insights into how they interact at school and may help facilitate a healthy social environment.

Parental Guidance for the Friend: If appropriate and comfortable, you might consider talking to the friend’s parents. This can help ensure that both families are on the same page regarding what’s appropriate for their children.