DD5 suddenly lost interest at school

[donkeyleg]

Just after some advice and if anyone else's child has been like this.

DD5 in reception and starting y1 in September used to really love school.
She's in the top group for reading, writing etc and always loved doing her school work and always been focused.

She's suddenly changed, doesn't seem interested at all, says she can't do it, says it boring. Gets her words and letters mixed up and her writing has gone really bad and will write a sentence or letter in the wrong order.
A group time she's always fiddling with something and showing no interest or participating.

Her teacher has spoke to me about it and asked if anything has changed at home, which it hasn't.
Her behaviour hasn't changed she's still a "good" just less focused and seems to walk around a lot with her head down or her hair covering her face.

She seems fine when she's at home, I've not noticed any difference in except I can't get her to do her reading.

Give her a break! She's 5.

But also, are you certain nothing has changed? No new adults in her life? No new hobbies? Nothing has changed with you? No new job... No siblings etc?

Yes I know she's 5 I'm not pushing her to do anything. I'm just a little worried about the change in her at school. Like I said she seems fine at home.

No nothing has changed at all at home

My first thought was perhaps something medical was going on but as you say she is fine at home that's unlikely.

I'd be concerned that something has upset her at school. Friendship issues, bullying, has she been in trouble for anything, even minor which has worried her? Something must have happened for the sudden change.

She is probably just tired and needing her summer break. Mine seemed to slump around this time of the year. I think children need a bit of space to process all they have learned. Hopefully she will perk up once she can just spend time on play rather than formal learning.

I would find this a little concerning OP. Like a pp I wonder if there could be anything going on that you don't know about? Have you tried asking her "are you sad about anything?".

I would be concerned by any sudden unexplained change. There are a few things that might cause a child to suddenly lose interest or focus in school and walk around “head down, hair covering her face.”

• teased for being too clever by other children so is doing worse to try and fit in
• teased and called “ugly face/teeth/nose” so keeps head down and covers face with hair.
• the teacher in the top group is mistreating her and this sabotage is to try and get into a lower group
• she has had a head injury/concussion and these are symptoms of a mild TBI
• Other physical illness/pain is distracting her
• Poor vision is making it harder, but she is afraid to get glasses

I would not ignore it and hope it goes away. I would chat with my child, get vision tested, chat with school and try and get to why the sudden change.

Agree with all of the comments above. Is worth a bit of exploration, but it may not be anything of much.

She may really be bored if she's ahead of most of her peers and the work is being pitched too low. If she's writing full sentences and reading well and they're sounding out basic phonics she may well be bored out of her mind in class. Or she may see that the children who are struggling get more attention. It may be as simply as she doesn't like or isn't interested in the particular book or topic they are working on and can't be bothered with it.

She may also just be tired - it's a long year for the little ones, it's getting hot, exciting summer last few week of term activities are starting and her focus may be wandering a bit. None of us have to be firing on all cylinders all the time - sometimes giving 60% of your abilities is giving all you have in your cup to give, whether you're 5 or 45!

Try reading books with her at home that are for slightly older children that she chooses. Something she is interested in or playing educational games, if she's feeling bored it is more likely the work is too easy for her and letting her increase her skills and knowledge at home will help make school less stressful.

This time of year is perfect for getting out and learning about trees, flowers, birds and nature in general and gives your DD a chance to talk if something is bothering her.

The school environment is getting more toxic and unsafe for kids. It’s often in ways they can’t articulate, like being told to make up with their bully and the teacher ignoring subsequent bullying or a teacher enforcing confusing discipline so no kid really knows what will get them in trouble or not. School avoidance is on the rise so are anxiety and other mental health conditions in kids. Don’t believe the teacher when she says everything is fine. Pull your daughter out of school and do online schooling or something. I have a teenager who still won’t do school work due to school trauma in primary school

Thanks all for your comments.

She does wear glasses and a lately she doesn't want to wear them. Wondering if this could be a reason. Also she is due an eye test this month, just waiting for her hospital appointment to come through.

She is also going through a few medical tests (suspected precocious puberty). She's been having these tests for a year now, so nothing really new to her.
Ass
Her teacher said the change in her seems to have happened after coming back from the Easter holidays.
A couple of her friends have been mean to her, not letting her play etc so she has just gone and played with other friends.

I've asked her if there is anything wrong and if she feels sad. She's says the books she is reading are boring and she sometimes gets sad because she misses me and her sister.

One of the TAs in her class who she is quite close to is going to have a chat with her today

I've also been told she hasn't been in trouble for anything, her behaviour is really good and she is kind and polite and liked by the other children

She's getting her words and letters mixed up? Have you considered dyslexia or dysgraphia at all?

I spoke to the TA about his. She said it's not as severe as dysgraphia, she's only recently started doing this but will keep an eye on her regarding dyslexia

This is a huge possible reason - precocious puberty.

Plus other hospital appointments.

Plus friendship issues.

Plus the work is boring.

Plus she misses you.

I think she just needs some space and support. Focus on the health, social and emotional needs, the educational is less of a priority for now.

@bergamotorange reading that back does seem quite a lot for a 5 year old to be worrying about. If they are the reasons.

You are right I'm just going to go with the flow of how she is, not pressure her when it comes to school and just keep showing her love and affection.
Like I say she is fine at home

This is a huge possible reason - precocious puberty.

^^

I've spoke to her teacher today and she said she's changed so much.
The girls have been mean to her again, well one of them. Telling her she can't play and to go away. For some reason dd still wants to play with them.

I'm wondering if this is knocking her confidence in class or she's just getting board of reception and is ready for new challenges in y1. So has lost interest in her work.

The PP hasn't been confirmed yet she's still awaiting a few more tests. Her doctor said she is borderline

Oh bless her, that does all sound like a lot.

It really does and I really feel for her. I've cried to myself in the bathroom thinking about it. I wish I could take it all away from her.

She's such a kind, sweet, polite little girl. She doesn't deserve all this

What happened over the Easter break?

What is the GP saying about precocious puberty?

Are you very confident that all the adults/older children around her are safe people?

A sudden change in behaviour is worrying. What is your gut feeling about what is happening?

I’d say it’s the bullying.

What are the school doing about the bullying??

Nothing I can think of happened over the Easter holidays. She was with me and her sister the whole time plus her dad. Nothing different except not being at school.

She's had blood test, bone age X-ray and is awaiting an ultra sound and mri scan appointment for the pp.

She's never with any other adults except my sister, mum and mum in law. She loves them all very much no concerns with them at all.

The school have said they are going to keep a close eye on the other girls, well the one in particular. They are going to try and encourage her to play with her other friends, who are nice girls.
When she moves to y1 the classes are split up and she's in a class with only one of the three girls. Luckily not the one who's the worse.
Hopefully this will encourage her to make closer friendships with the other girls who are nice.

I really do think the reason for her change is the other girls being mean to her. It's not every day it happens, some days they play nice together. She said to me she wants to play with them cos sometimes they are kind to her and she really likes them. I just think it's not her confidence when they are not kind to her.

I really don't know what else I can do except wait till y1 and see if anything changes

What happened at Easter is she didn't have to go to school. Then she had to go back afterwards.

I say this very kindly but are you finding it hard to deal with all that's happening for her?

Reading your posts I think it is really obvious why she's struggling. I don't understand why you're looking for something extra.

The bullying is important and school must tackle it. If they don't, move schools early. Too many parents waste years not moving.