4 months ... really struggling :(

[Wingingitmum11]

We are 4 months in and I am currently very sleep deprived as we are having a mix of regression and jet lag (effecting baby and me) so I am probably not thinking normally but I am struggling so so much.

I am not sure the point of writing this really but just an outlet.

My partner is brilliant, amazing even. Way better than me as a parent. We have no other support around and it's just us. It can be quite lonely especially the days and I feel like I am just waiting for him to get home.

I try to get out and about as much as I can but found it hard this week due to less than one hour sleep each night I just haven't been able to face it.

Is it normal to just feel this sense of doom and anxiety constantly right now?
my mind is going wild and I just have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away :(

This too shall pass x

You're doing great, don't beat yourself up.

What is it exactly that's on your mind?

It’s amazing how quick you forget these phases when they’re older but we’ve all been there!! There’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better at this point when it feels so rough but please always remember it’s always just a phase!
you’ll come out the other side soon just take each day as it comes and it will get easier xx

Lack of sleep is a total bastard. When DP gets home ask him to take the baby and go and have a nap. It really works wonders.

Hi Op,

I really feel for you and I can’t stress enough how sleep deprivation will send you into a spiral of low mood, anxiety and depression.

I have a 3 year old and a 6 week old and I remember hitting the 4 month sleep regression with the first and omg, it near killed me. I felt soooo low !

You’re doing this on barely any sleep and no help (aside from your partner) but that’s not enough.

there is a reason there is a saying ‘it takes a village’ we were never supposed to do this alone.

What your feeling is totally normal given what your dealing with but doesn’t make it any easier at all. I wish I had something constructive to say but all I can say is I see and feel your pain, and I promise it does get better, particularly when the sleep situation improves. My 3 yo makes me laugh so.much, she’s great company and can’t imagine life without her, with regards to the 6 week old I’m just trying to get through each day !

Also, you’re right, it can be incredibly lonely, my partner just came home and said ‘are you annoyed at me ?’ I was like, nope, I just have nothing to say for my day …. It is boring being at home with a baby all day … just my personal opinion, I know some people love it.

Hang in there OP, you are not alone and so many woman feel like you, it’s one of the toughest things we will ever do xx

@spicysamosahotcupoftea just silly thoughts that this will last forever!!!
worrying how I will cope with everything still to come and just feel rubbish for finding it hard when others manage with multiple children.

@Spinet last night he tried to do the first portion of the night but I just could not sleep . Jet lag is the devil at the moment! :(

@Mum7644885 thank you so much. This means alot it really does.

the mix of regression and jet lag is just wow. I can't see light at the end of the tunnel at the moment but hopefully it will come soon.

congrats on your new baby!

4 month sleep regression is brutal. Ours woke every hour. We ended up with my husband holding her while I slept 8-10.30pm ish then he took her again 5.30-7am.

I gave in to Co sleeping after a couple of months and it did help get us through, although our 4 month regression last3d much longer than anyone else I know!

And you won’t because your absolutely plagued by exhaustion but just keep repeating to yourself ‘these feelings arnt really how I feel, if I had slept I’d feel much different’ try not to fall into that dark mental space (as difficult as it is) tackle each day as it comes and try not to think too far ahead, right now, just get through today, tomorrow may be different.

And don’t forget your still dealing with your hormones balancing out, it’s such a lot !!

@Brbreeze I have Definetely given in to cosleeping some nights which thought I would never ever do but by 4/5am I have nothing left in me to try and settle. I don't want it to be a habit (which I think it's starting to be) so when jet lag is over we are hoping to do some gentle sleep training . Godknows how that will go!

It will get better I promise. We did a lot of jet lag in the early months too.

Does baby breastfeed? I used to strip the covers off the bed, lie on my side, give baby the boob, and sleep while he was feeding. It's a little uncomfortable but better than nothing.

@Aria999 can I ask how long jet lag lasted for you? We have have no problem one way (7 hours behind ) but return (7 hours forward) is just hell.
I feel it to though so I understand why he must be so confused .

this is night 4.
but with this and the long travel? I haven't really slept for 5 nights.

not breast fed unfortunately!

@Wingingitmum11 DS is 8 now and the California jet lag (8 hours) was with him so it's all a bit of a blur....

but as far as I remember, the first night was appalling and it got better after 3 or 4 nights but took 1-2 weeks to fully lose the early wake up after we got back to California.

Lots of bright sunshine during the day and careful nap management (which was a balance between letting them sleep at nap time when their body thinks it's night so they don't get overtired and you can sleep too, and waking them up after a while (even though it's hard) to ensure they can then sleep at night.