Handing toddler fussy eating correctly ...

[toddlermum13]

My 3 year old has recently became quite fussy after being a good eater for a long time.

She used to eat everything but recently has stopped. How do you handle this correctly?

I'm not a mum that will cook separate meals regularly, but I'm not an eat it or go without mum either.

Eg, I'm making katsu curry tonight. She will eat the rice and broccoli but doesn't like chicken and can be hit or miss with curry.

I'm thinking to serve the rice and broccoli with fish fingers (whereas we will have breaded chicken) with some curry on the side instead of on top.

Am I pandering? Is this the correct thing to do to get her to eat but not cook something ritually separate?

I got too lucky with her eating everything up until now!

I would do rice, chicken, curry, all separate and also fish fingers on the side. So you're offering everything but she's guaranteed to eat something. It's not pandering- it's meeting her needs while still offering things for her to try

Sometimes they'll hate something then suddenly love it. And vice versa! Mine does it all the time. He used to hate banana, sometimes he will love it now, other times he hates it again. He used to love Yoghurt now he doesn't like it. They're funny like that, just keep offering. It takes apparently something like 20 tries of something I read somewhere. As long as she's eating something but being offered things to try that's what I do

my children aren’t very picky but I always plate their food so nothings touching lol I’m hiring tiff and sauces are in a ramekin. we also always eat together because I’ve heard it said that children mimic parents eating behaviours ( not sure how true that is).

It's really common at this age to get fussier and also common for them to have a decline in appetite as they aren't going through the huge growth spurts of the earlier years, they will have hungry weeks and less hungry weeks - best advice I've heard is look at the food intake over the week rather than the day in terms of balance. I did what the above poster said and made accommodations within certain limits and if not much had been eaten would offer something plain but filling like yoghurt mixed with oats for pud so could see if they hadn't eaten much because they were full or because they didn't like it. Trust their appetite and don't fuss over left food, they no how to regulate much better than adults tend to!

Picnic to let them pick what they want and how much, and dip dip days. Our toddler now wont eat a meal without ketchup or mayonnaise or salad cream. Tonight was saucy rice with ketchup…. Whatever works….

I just serve the dinner and they eat what they want. If that's only rice and broccoli that's fine. She can fill up on more rice and brocolli and have fruit after if she wants. My son does the same with curry even though I make his portion mild, he just eats the rice. I keep serving it because I'm sure one day he'll try it. That's what happened with other foods, whereas if I say he can have the rice with fish fingers, he's never getting the opportunity to try the curry.

He loves spaghetti bolognese for example, but it took weeks and months of only eating the spaghetti for him to finally try it. Now he loves it. Sometimes you have to play the long game and just say "this is for dinner, eat what you want and how much you want" and leave them to it.

Yesterday we had chicken burgers with salad, and corn on the cob on the side. He chose to eat only the brioche bun and the corn on the cob. I don't pass comment and just leave him to it.

Agreed, this is what I do also. If I make chicken korma and my daughter only eat the chicken and the naan, but doesn't touch the rice and sauce, then I'm happy she's eaten something. Sometimes she eats the whole lot, other times not, she's only turned 2 in March so not sure whether she'll stay like this or get worse in the next year or so. Fingers crossed 🤞

Have a look at ‘solid starts’ on Instagram. They do some really helpful guides and videos about handling fussy eating and toddler food refusal. Found it really useful. Helps with older children too.

It's quite normal for 3 year olds to start asserting their independence and preferences - just keep serving up your normal meals and don't make any fuss about her eating this or that, also don't make a big fuss and praise when she does eat - just treat it as normal. Don't let food become a battleground and don't offer alternatives at mealtimes. Your little one won't starve, I promise! If she doesn't eat much at one meal, she'll make up for it at another.

This. Definitely not pandering. She will likely go back to widening her pallette when she’s ready.

I only ever cooked 1 meal we couldn't afford anything else. If child doesn't eat I would give slice of toast before bed

I found this Instagram page had lots of useful tips and guidance when dealing with kids and food.
https://www.instagram.com/kids.eat.in.color?igsh=Y3J5YjZmaWxlMDZs

My son has ASD so is very funny with meat in particular (won’t eat unless breaded or battered no matter how much was says it’s just an naked chicken nuggets etc, we’ve tried everything) and he won’t eat any sauces at all. We always make the same carb for everyone and at least one veg he will eat and then he has a protein source he will eat. If we have pasta he’ll have cheese, if we have mash he’ll have fish fingers or chicken nuggets etc.

Sometimes he randomly asks to try something like scrambled eggs and likes it (so now when we do egg fried rice he has plain rice with peas and scrambled eggs on the side)

IMO this is called being considerate not catering but if you can serve them a small portion of the katsu chicken and curry also
or better still serve the lot family style on the table so they see recognizable options for themselves
remember this isn't cooking an entire separate meal which I also refuse to do
the fussy phase at 3 will end I promise at 5 ish they will begin to explore food again until then parent provides child decides is my motto and I make very little fuss over what any of them eat
remember you are aiming for a future adult who has a good relationship with food whilst maintaining at least a balanced diet for them now rice fish fingers and a cheerful dinner time sounds like it achieves both those objectives xx

oh and when my middle child (a twin with a twin who ate anything 🤣🫣) went to a fussy place i actually one day wrote down foods she would eat and it was something like 30+ when i really looked at it ! But compared to before / baby stage and her sister it felt restrictive but it wasn't and I had nothing to worry about and she now eats normally at 8 and even allows foods off the table for the last 4 years which is fantastic

unless there is something in the background like autism or allergies stopping them most children do eat a fairly balanced diet all by themselves if we trust them to listen to their bodies / intuitively eat etc

I agree with this.
Dish up whatever the meal is and leave them to it.
We are just cooking out of a near year long fussy phase but I just always made sure that there was some sort of “safe” food on her plate so I knew she would eat something.

I’m not in the fed is best camp but I’m not a mum that cooks nutritious meals day in day out, only some days (just for context)

I think that a great compromise. It won’t take any longer to cook as it will cook alongside.

DC is just exercising her right to say no, most likely. You could try and make it into a choice and say ‘would you like katsu chicken curry with xyz today for dinner or shepherds pie!’

my DD7 will eat anything! (Was spooned and has great cutlery skills)

my DS5 is horrendously picky all of a sudden (wet food) was baby led and is rubbish at using cutlery. He gets the same food and if he doesn’t eat it, he gets no dessert (fruit/yog) so he does.

Path chosen to feed as babies not linked to OP, but BLW is meant to prevent picky eating and yet I see a generation of older kids in my school being very picky.

I think age 3 is fine though and it’s only pandering if you make a whole new meal.

Just keep offering a variety of normal foods, no pressure, and let her choose. Dont make separate meals for her. Some people on this site are obsessed with a perfect daily balance of nutrients but honestly if humans were that fragile we'd have died out a long time ago. For example, it's pretty difficult to actually be protein deficient, unless you're in a massive calorie deficit every day for weeks.

This is great advice 🙌🙌

I’d just put the meal components on the table and ask what they’d like and how much. I wouldn’t be concerned if they only chose and eat rice and broccoli. Fish fingers are pretty lacking nutrionally so you’re not adding by cooking those!

Fish fingers contain 3g of protein per stick / finger for a basic / cheap brand so in a meal of rice and broccoli they are essentially filling the missing piece of the meal - fat and protein (and if you get good ones or make your own adding more protein and omega 3s)
without which whilst the child will hardly starve it could mean they were hungrier earlier and it means other meals have to work harder to meet overall protein needs
yes eating fish not in finger form is arguably better for you but fish fingers can form part of a nutrient rich diet and would certainly supplement the other elements of the meal well especially when considering the chicken was intended to be breaded and fried anyway as katsu 🤷‍♀️