Co sleeping

[Phiafyi]

Help!! In desperate need of advice. _

My toddler is 2 and a half as he’s co slept with me since birth. It’s time for him to sleep in his own room. I’ve finally moved into a house where he has his own room and bought him his own “car” bed. The past few weeks I’ve been sleeping in the bed with him he doesn’t let me go until he goes sleep and when I go back into my own bed he does wake up a few times. He can’t seem to fall asleep without holding on to me because that’s all he’s known since he was a baby. My biggest regret is not sleep training from young because I feel like I don’t get any time for myself, and get any house work done at night time alongside other stuff. However, the reality is that I did co sleep and now I’m having to figure out moving forward on to improve his sleep. I’m noticing he’s not getting the sleeping hours he needs and I feel like it’s concerning. I want him to be able to have a good night sleep in his own bed and being able to be comfortable in his room without me being there all night!

I’d love to hear some advice to help me get through this obstacle in my toddler journey!

Co slept with two- they just outgrow it eventually. Just make his room inviting and don’t put pressure on. He will come round.

My toddler comes into my bed from their own room at the first wake up. So we effectively co-sleep every night. It's not for long and I love having them all close.

Why can't you have an evening even if you co-sleep? Let your son sleep in your bed whilst you're downstairs?

I don't think any exciting looking bed can replace the sense of safety he gets from being close to you. It's in their DNA to not relax enough to sleep unless we're there. Literally their survival depends on us back to our caveman days.

I do know some people have successfully done the retreating chair with a toddler but I imagine it will take a long time...so I haven't bothered. Plus I then had more babies anyway so toddler didn't want to miss out.

It's a gradual process, he'll get there in the end.

I found that every time my sons came through/cried if I went and cuddled them back to sleep in their room, eventually it became less and less. They learned that they were safe and I would always come if they needed me so weren't as anxious. I didn't let them back in my bed however

I co-slept with my three, all grown up now. They take their time, but eventually move out (sob). I would lie down with them briefly, or just shuffle them off to bed and then have time to myself if I wanted it. They seemed to go to sleep quite easily, as I remember it.

We had a super king mattress on the floor and another single mattress next to the bed. That worked well for us, and we are still are comfortable on the floor 28 years on.

I semi coslept with my DD, until she was probably 2 she would, most nights a week, come into my bed at some stage in the night, sometimes from 10pm sometimes not until 3am.
When we got her own proper bed at 2.5 I would sit with her until she fell asleep and if she needed to she would get into my bed at some point. Then when I got pregnant, she was approaching 3, I would read some stories, have a cuddle, and then say "I'm just having a shower I'll be back in a minute ok" and would leave an audio book on for her. 9/10 she was asleep by the time I came back in a few mins later. Now she's 3.5 and I kiss her goodnight etc and she rolls over goes to sleep, maybe once every two/three weeks does she walk into our room and get into bed with me, if she stirs I just go in and settle for a few mins.

It takes time but you'll get there ❤️

Hi everyone thank you so much for the advice. It’s nice to know I’m not alone! In response to flittingaboutagain - even if I let him sleep in my bed while I’m downstairs he would still wake up. He’s still at the stage where he feel like he needs me to fall asleep because I’ve been by his side for so long. Hearing from everyone’s responses I think I still need to take my time and he will get there in the end. I’m having to sleep in his bed with him. I think my next step is sleeping next to his bed with a little area of sleeping things then gradually move away in the night back to mine like I’m doing already.