17 months old and struggling.

[CheshireMummy22]

Hi all. This is my first post. I’m desperate. My LB is not far off 18 months and I’d say since 2 weeks old I’ve struggled with him. He’s never been an easy baby, never seemed happy to just chill or play, had reflux, always cried and I feel like I’m always waiting for the next thing to help make things easier. Eg kept telling myself it’ll be easier when he can sit, crawl, walk Etc but it never does get easier. We have days where he cries and moans ALL day. This is having such a huge impact on my mental health. I was under the perinatal team until he was around 10 months and then that fizzled out. I genuinely felt like I couldn’t even find the will to read emails or information about help. I’ve recently referred myself for counselling again to see if this helps me but I had CBT once in the past and it didn’t help me at all. I’m really at a loss. His personality/behaviour gets me so down. I really try every day whilst working full time and trying to keep on top of everything life brings but I feel like I’m failing and end up angry and frustrated much easier than he should experience. I battle with myself everyday going between thinking I’ve caused this behaviour because of my mental health and what he picks up on or because there might be something underlying with him. I know parenting isn’t meant to be easy but I grieve the experience I thought I’d have that I see and hear others having. I know this is a great big ramble, I hope it makes sense ❤️

Big hugs. DC1 was a miserable baby and is still an intense, emotional, highly strung little boy at 4. It’s so soul destroying when your child is the difficult one. Do you get any breaks? It reads like you are trying to work and take care of him at the same time - I hope that’s not the case? Breaks are the only way I cope x

I'm sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you. Are you me? I also have a DC 17 months and she is very similar. I also was under perinatal MH team after her birth. It's so hard to work full time and do the child care for a child who never seems happy or content. The only thing that has helped me is reading about different developmental stages and how children/toddlers express themselves. A few mins ago I even joked to my partner that I feel like DD has multiple personalities (no offence to those that do) but it really is the only way I get through the days...humour. It seems like you need some breaks, does he go to nursery yet and are there things he can start to enjoy that distract him for a while like toddler classes? I've found Sing and Sign and Musical Bumps classes v helpful but there are other free ones. I hear the toddler/child stage goes quick...I'll be one of those waiting eagerly with you for it to end!

Thanks both. Thankfully he goes to nursery 2 days a week and I have a day off with him in the week as does my husband. Working with him in the house would be impossible. It’s reassuring to hear it’s not just me. You just want to hear you’re not alone and the success stories of others who have been in a similar situation.