I know this is ridiculous but please understand I have a new baby so very hormonal and postnatal.
I had my baby via a c section and so have not been able to be as hands on and playful with my eldest child due to have the baby on my boob all the time and the demands of new parenting.
i also spent most of the pregnancy sick and in bed but managed to be there for my daughter as much as I could… meanwhile my partner stepped in and the have developed a wonderful bond which I am grateful for.
however, since the baby im starting to feel very separate and isolated. They have their little in jokes and they role play constantly together.
i just feel on my own all the time with the baby. I feel like the dynamic of the house had split and we arnt as tight anymore. It makes me feel very sad and miss my connection with my daughter.
I love my baby who needs me so much atm i also need time to recover but I worry o am losing her as well as myself as nothing is the same now… I can’t work, socialize, study… I lost all this already as I was so sick during pregnancy but since the baby I’ve been feeling the effects even more. I don’t think I have PND or anything like that. Just really miss my daughter and embarrassingly feel envious of the bond between my partner and her.
I also feel like I’m the bad one all the time. Telling her to tidy her room, get off YouTube, get to bed… and he’s the fun one. But he won’t discipline her on stuff like that. I hate being the boring nag bag parent and him the fun best friend.
Ps. She is eleven; so a very big age gap.
Any words of wisdom or experiences would be really helpful as don’t want it to ruin or further effect my family bonds during this special time..