Newborn cries when awake

[sparklestar4]

My DS is 3 weeks old and he is so unhappy when he's awake.

He feeds well, brings up has absolutely fine and sleeps well without any discomfort.

I can't change him without screaming, play or do tummy time with him because he just cries and it's too traumatising for both of us!!

If he was uncomfortable or in pain, surely during his sleep and feeds he would be crying too

Any ideas why he's so upset? Or is this just normal for a 3 week old?

Very, very normal. Congratulations OP! And if you can prise 2 minutes of time out of the whirl of your day (or night) have a look at the fourth trimester theory and see if it helps. I found this but there's loads of other articles on it around. Good luck! And I think (but I'm no expert and it's a loooong time since I had babies) 3 weeks is too soon to be worrying about tummy time.

Understanding the 4th Trimester: What to Expect for Your Baby and You (healthline.com)

Is he just unhappy when lying down?
is it in certain positions?
does he sleep flat?
When lying flat is he a bit squirmy?
Has he been like this since birth?

I only ask as I had similar issues with my youngest, he couldn't lay flat, would cry, squirm, just generally seem unhappy. Got to the point where we had to sleep upright for a while. He was feeding like normal no problems.
Doctor figured it out as milk protein intolerance and reflux caused by this.
We changed his formula and started gaviscon with feeds and had the happiest baby in the world within 2 days of the change.

Might be something to look into, talk to your GP, and best of luck I remember how tough that was.

Way too young to be doing tummy time (unless on you) or playing. All he wants or needs is cuddles at this stage.

You definitely don't need to do tummy time or play with a 3 week old. Try different positions whilst awake, including in a sling, upright, walking around inside, or go for a walk outside if you feel up to it - mine always settled in the pram.

You don't need to do tummy time with a three week old, just cuddle or stick in a sling.

Very normal if you have that sort of baby. I have 3 dc. 2 were content babies and one…. Just cried…. And cried…. And cried…. I still remember the trauma of it….i think the midwife said if there was something wrong they wouldn’t be sleeping peacefully and there would be other symptoms… that out my at my ease a bit. But it was hard. She’s 12 now and as happy as can be…. Just ride it out op….

Put me at my ease

Hi @sparklestar4 sorry to reignite an old post but wondering how you’re getting on now? My 5 week old is exactly the same and has been since about 2 weeks. I am a problem solver and so was desperate to ‘fix’ the problem at first, but as you said, she is sleeping so well at night (4+ hour stretches) as well as long naps and gaining weight so I don’t think reflux or colic could be an issue. She is just constantly crying when awake until she falls asleep again.

I know PP have mentioned 3 weeks as too early for tummy time etc but with my first DS I was reading to him, engaging with him, talking and playing basically from birth. I have not done any of that ever with my DD as she literally is never awake and not crying, so I don’t feel bonded to her really which makes me so sad. And has significantly impacted my relationship with older DS as I cannot put the baby down for even a minute to play with or engage with him.

I should also add most of the time me holding her doesn’t even calm the crying, I just do it out of feeling guilty to leave her alone!

Hi @rose88xx

I honestly could've written your post myself. Same as you, I'm a problem solver so I found that period of time difficult and I never found a solution to the crying.
I have to say things improved from 6 weeks onwards when DS became a bit more aware of what was going on around him.

I also feared for my relationship with my DD because the daytime crying really impacted her too. We are absolutely fine and she doesn't remember those days.

It's so draining so please don't be too hard on yourself or set great expectations with bonding. It will come! I'm well and truly through this stage but I know how unbelievably draining the awake time crying is but promise it gets easier and I hope you're okay? xx

He's still so new. Tummy time is not important at this stage.
They say it takes two weeks for a new born to realise they are alive.

I don't agree in no tummy time. Place baby on belly down on your chest or across your lap for a few minutes at a time, two or three times a day.
Crying is normal for infants. Your HV can guide you if you need.

You could try a bouncer. If we bounced my baby that cried all the time in the bouncer… quite vigorously… she stopped … some babies really like to be on the move…