If I do this, what will happen?

[RrdPandaFluff]

I have a super-clingy 10 month old that I'm currently trying to get ready for nursery. As much as I love the daytime cuddles (she wants to be held all the time, and won't nap anywhere but in my arms) I do want to make the transition to a nursery setting easier for her in two months time.

I've stopped breastfeeding her during the day, and while she's not accepting much formula (maybe 2-3oz per bottle feed, five feeds per day) we give her some of whatever we're eating at each meal plus some porridge for breakfast, puréed meals etc.

However . . . I haven't been able to stop breastfeeding her during the night. We bedshare (DH in spare room and following Lullaby Trust safer sleeping guidelines) as she won't sleep in a cot, Next2Me etc. unlike DD1 who loved the Next2Me and happily went into a cot in her own room at 6 months.

What will happen if I only breastfeed during the night? I would say DD feeds maybe six times -mostly for comfort - during the night. Will my milk dry up? Or will I still have some available for as long as DD keeps feeding overnight? Just wondering what the impact of stopping daytime feeds will be!

Slightly different scenario OP but my DS is 15 months now and started nursery 3 full days when he was 12 months as well as another day with my mum. He had always refused a bottle and also won’t drink milk from a cup, or anything but me (drinks water fine from a cup). Though I do now occasionally day feed on the weekends (mostly just to sleep though for his nap), he is effectively day weaned as we are apart from 8-5.30 during the week.
I initially pumped twice during the day when apart from him, mostly for comfort as until he started nursery he was breastfeeding maybe 5 times during the day and a further 3-4 overnight. Ive managed to slowly get that to just pumping once a day at lunchtime. Otherwise I feed during the night still and to be honest my supply is absolutely fine, my body has adjusted quite well.
Now I feed him after nursery, bedtime and during the night and have had no issues with supply. I have a few friends that have day weaned on returning to work and their supply is also fine! Some haven’t even needed to pump for comfort during the day either. The body is incredibly clever and your milk supply should adjust

Your milk won't dry up if you're nursing six times a night.

But have you tried to get your baby to sleep properly? Sorry, I mean without waking every 90 mins? You must be shattered.

Unclear if this message is passive aggressive or you are genuinely trying to help? What's your best method for supporting a baby to sleep long stretches if not breastfeeding?

I stopped breastfeeding in the day before sending my son to nursery when he'd just turned 1- I carried on feeding him first thing, at bedtime, and when he woke overnight. When the waking overnight part became a bit OTT (he was waking every hour and a half for basically a comfort feed) I eventually knocked that on the head, too, and just did one feed at bedtime which I kept up until after he was 2.

My DD was feeding both day and night time when I put her to nursery at 10 months so it stopped her daytime feedings. I just fed her in the morning, in the evening and at night. In coming months she stopped wanting morning feed, then evening feed and finally dropped night feed. Not feeding her during the day meant there was tons of milk at evening. I was surprised how smoothly it all went. My body just adjusted to it naturally.

That's very normal for this age, you might find that they start nursing a lot more once starting nursery. Not only do they need the extra comfort, but they're also exposed to someone germs, so they breastfeed to support their immune system (as their saliva tells your body to produce what they need). Your body will adapt and continue to produce with the demand. The final few months of BF I even went full weeks without nursing and my body could still make the milk when required.

Oh sorry, no, I wasn't being PA. Apologies.

I genuinely wondered if you'd thought about how to get your baby to sleep better.

Maybe if you put the baby down in the cot for naps? They'll have to get used to it at nursery.

I breastfed all my babies for years, and it took months after their last nursing before the milk fully dried up.

I actually went back to work with all my babies, and breastfed them when I was at home. They had EBM or sometimes formula when I was out.

Ahh thanks so much everyone, you've really put my mind to rest. I'd quite like to continue breastfeeding to some extent, I was just worried that not feeding during the day would have a huge impact.

As for the sleeping issue, that's absolutely next on the list. Figured trying to "fix" everything at once would be too much, so I'd get her used to bottles during the day, and then start working out how to get her to sleep in her cot.

I'm sure I'll be making a frazzled mumsnet post about that at some point

My middle child started full time nursery at 15 months, meaning day time feeding stopped at that point (though I did feed in the day at the weekend occasionally if he asked for it).

I fed him bedtime and morning (and in the night when he woke for it) from then until 4yrs 4mo. He only stopped because my milk dried up due to pregnancy.

So you can just feed overnight. You may well find that DC feeds more often in the night to make up for the day feeds, making you more tired. But your milk supply will keep going as long as DC keeps feeding ....

When you're ready to tackle sleeping (in your own time) I can wholeheartedly recommend sleep consultant Hannah Love. She offers courses, free workshops and has a book. I did her 'stop feeding to sleep' course and it was fantastic. So gentle, no leaving to cry or anything like that, just consistent steps to show your baby a new way to sleep gradually. Her Facebook community is lovely and supportive too.

I know people have mixed views towards 'sleep training', but if you're returning to work, you may just find you need to create a situation that's healthier for you, and there are kind methods out there. It doesn't have to be cry-it-out or nothing. She's supportive of bed sharing too if that works for you.

That sounds ideal, @Ketryne, thank you so much. I really want to do something gentle in terms of sleep training - DD needs love and contact, and I don't want to withhold that, but at the same time I do need to equip her to sleep by herself.

I think the Facebook group is called 'sleep well with Hannah, parenting community' - definitely a nice supportive first step for advice and tips, and she says on there when she's got free workshops running.

Otherwise, I think the book is available on Amazon (she hadn't written this when my toddler was a baby but I've got a second one on the way now so definitely planning to pick this up for some reminders!). And she has a range of self serve or supported courses where you get Q&As/ 121 support with her too, depending on your budget and need.

I'm sure there are other great methods out there but I've found her extremely kind, trustworthy, effective and her methods very manageable.

I've just requested to join the Facebook group, and about to have a look for the book. Thanks again, @Ketryne!