I am writing re my 17 month old nephew - the child of my brother and his girlfriend.
Since he has been born, there has been repeated concerns of neglect and general lack of interest in my nephews safety and well-being.
As they have a start up business (which they prioritise), my mum is heavily involved in the care of my nephew and looks after him Friday-Sunday (10am-11pm), and often additional days too. This has been the case since he was around 6 weeks old.
Concerns were raised very early on, and there continue to be new issues. Such as:-
baby was diagnosed with torticollis, they were told to do physio exercises at home and did not do this
baby was repeatedly left on his back in the pram before he was able to sit up, leaving him with a noticeably flat head on one side which is still apparent now
baby was only bathed once a week
baby was left with untreated thrush in his mouth for 3 weeks
baby was left with untreated ringworm
baby was left to feed himself at an incredibly early age (possibly 4-5 months) bottle placed in mouth and propped up with no control
baby was confined to pram for hours at a time (when able to sit up)
baby “forced” into high chair(that is the language used by the mother of the baby)so that mother can do “more important things”
baby was grossly underweight, suffering with constipation too, which has only been addressed once with a doctor. To this day he still has constipation issues left unresolved and often left un medicated
baby is dressed in ill-fitting clothes, often 2-3 sizes too small (despite us buying and sending new clothes for him)
baby was placed in a car seat too small (essentially squashing his head) so they didn’t have to buy another one until this was raised
Baby was given apple and a McDonald chip before he had teeth and choked on these
Baby has been put in a car that is grossly unfit to drive, had black mold in it, has a faulty gearbox etc which is a serious danger
We have attempted to raise some of these problems but have always been shot down. They are very cold , aggressive and self righteous people I can’t stress this enough. My brother can be extremely volatile and for the sake of the baby and maintaining contact we have tried to be patient. However, this week, my mum witnessed baby’s mother smack him extremely hard on his bare bottom and threaten him several times with violence “shut up or I’ll slap you”. Baby had done nothing wrong other than wanting to play with something she didn’t want him to. The smack looked like a very natural reaction and she has shown no remorse when confronted by my mum. She said my brother is also smacking baby, which he denies. My brother is defending her actions and said we need to show her respect?! There’s been no assurances from either this won’t happen again, she simply said “I never hurt him”
it escalated today when my mum and me went to my brothers to speak to him. He threw us out of the house, told us smacking is not an issue to them, and refused to address it. He indirectly threatened us with not seeing the baby.
this is devastating to us, our main concern is that without involvement we cannot ensure he is being cared for properly.
my question is, does this catalogue of issues warrant a report to social services? I am concerned about his well-being, happiness and safety.
I have seen that in england the laws around smacking are sketchy. But surely, as a 17 month old, reasonable punishment could not be deemed as a defence?
my nephew is obsessed with my mum (his nana) and they have a truly beautiful connection and relationship. Stopping her seeing him would not only deprive my nephew but it would ruin her life. My fear is that if we report them and they get off Scott free so will have more ammunition to cease contact