Are we doing this potty-training business right? [long]

[Upsidedowncake]

We have just started potty-training DS (29 months).

The signs were:

• he can manage his trousers both up and down
• he voluntarily did three wees in the potty three bath-times running (actually, he did a poo in the bath straight after one of them, but anyway )
• he can make himself go - he says things like 'my pee-pee doesn't work' when he tries going to the loo shortly after having just been
• when he sits on the potty, he usually produces something
• he's done two poos in the potty
• last week he said he wanted pants
• nursery think he's ready

But

• he isn't able to tell when something is about to come. You have to catch him at the right time
• his father wasn't potty-trained till he was well over 3
• Days 1 and 2 were excellent (only one accident) but Day 3, he flatly refused to wear pants and Day 4 (at nursery) he had about a 50% success rate (because they weren't catching him often enough)

What do you think? Is there any point in trying to train him when he can't tell if something is coming? Or is this something you learn by (damp) experience?

Thanks

I think it sounds like it is ready - all of your first points are good indicators.

I think the fact that he can produce on the potty when taken to it shows that he has the required bladder control.

Don't worry about when his dad was toilet trained, that will have no bearing on this.

I think it sounds like an incentive issue. Maybe the novelty has worn off and because he has had a few accidents he is losing heart a bit.

What kind of reward system were you doing? Can you go back to the beginning and start the incentives again?

i think they really have to know they are about to pee - otherwise it's a lot of hard work and effort (unless of course you have the time) on your part

sorry he is ready

I didn't use any incentives at all. But nursery made him a sticker chart, which he is very proud of, so I don't think it's that.

It may be that he gets distracted. Could it be that he is just not used to associating a pee signal with Niagara falls because he's always been in nappies?

Also I've heard that boys don't produce 'the required chemical till 30 months'. What chemical is this? Or is it nonsense?

I think there is a hormonal or chemical link to being able to control your bladder. I don't think that there is a particular age that it kicks in specifically for boys though.

I think the general rule is that don't bother starting before 18 months, and boys are generally later than girls, but having said that both my boys were dry by 30 months.

He could be distracted, but equally he could just need more of an incentive to get it right. I think if nursery used sticker charts and it worked for him you should maybe do the same. I know all children are different but mine both responded really well to sticker charts.

I think consistency is the key. And it really takes lots of effort, but if he's ready he can be dry remarkably quickly using the right method.

Happy to give you any tips if you want, but if you really feel he's not ready then don't push it

50% success rate on day 4 sounds quite good to me. IMO now you have started you have to be consistent and stick with it.

I think it's always a bit more of a struggle at nursery - dd def had more accidents there than at home. Staff just can't watch them so closely.

From the signs you describe I'd say he sounds ready. It's hard for them to work out when they "need" if they're doing it in a nappy imho.

With dd we put a marble in a jar every time she did a pee in the toilet (2 marbles for a poo). When the jar was full she got to choose a small present. She loved that and responded really well to it.

bump