Would you continue or pause potty training in this situation?

[Pantheon]

Ds is a month off 2 1/2 and started showing signs of being ready/interested in potty training so we're giving it a go. We're now 4 days in and this is where we are:

-No poos started on potty (one finished there when I saw and helped him get there). Not withholding, just going on floor

• Will wee when I take him with me to the toilet
• a few self initiated wees on potty/toilet but mainly I have helped him get there when he looked like he needed to go or was already going on the floor

No fear of not having a nappy on nor the big toilet etc, which is great

I'm wondering now if he is on the younger side for when boys tend to train these days when i hear of these clicked within 3 days stories or whether this sounds about right at this stage and it should continue to improve...?

I'm going to give it a week min before deciding but just curious about others opinions/experiences

We did gradual potty training where we did knickers for 1 h building up to 4h at a time and pull ups the rest of the time. Once she was happy to have knickers for the 4h before or after a nap and sometimes both we went all in. It took her longer to get the poos and when she actively got up from the potty to poo in knickers we introduced a reward chart and within a week she was doing so much better. She had toddler diarrhoea and she seemed to have to concentrate a lot more to pick up those cues

My daughter has learnt everything slowly not wanting to do anything until she has cracked and for us this mimicked that learning process. She was cruising furniture at 9 months but flat out refused to walk until 14/15 months and ran the next day! We had no issues with confusion between knickers and nappies. We travelled a few weeks after going for it and put her in a pull up for the two days in the airport either side. On the GB end we didn't quite make it to the toilets in time so she did use that pull up but in the smaller airport coming home she was in a dry pull up from 8 am until 8pm and used the toilet throughout the day. She ended up using the nappy when we were in a long queue for the bus back to the car and with no toilets around.

I'd stop if I were you, he doesn't sound ready. We recently trained our DD. I tried a few months ago and she was similar to what you describe. We went back to pull ups. She is now almost 3 and we tried again last week and she nailed it in 2 days. We've barely had any accidents. I would stop for a few months and in that time, gently introduce it by making him go first thing in morning and just before bed.

I'd stop too. I started off with DC1 by sitting them on the potty whilst I ran the bath. Just sat them on it and gave them a book to look at. Made a ^huge fuss if they did anything and just carried in blithely with bathtime if they hadn't done snything.

I think if your DC is pooing anywhere but in the potty, they might not be ready.

Thanks everyone for your advice. @CrunchySnow what did you say to your dd re taking a break/going back to pull ups for a while and how did you know when to try again? Thanks!

Have you read the information on the ERIC website?
https://eric.org.uk/potty-training
I personally wouldn’t stop. Potty training ought to be an incremental process rather than a sudden event.

It’s only been 4 days and he’s weeing when asked and has done a few self initiation ones. I actually think that’s pretty good progress considering 5 days ago he was going in his nappy with no idea of the sensations. At a minimum I’d give it a week before deciding. I know occasionally some kids turn round and train themselves at 3+ years old but if you give up now and then wait too long it could easily go the other way because 3 year olds can be really stubborn and you could be in for a much more difficult time. At the moment it sounds like he is fairly compliant and he is making some progress. Re the pooing try 30 minutes after they’ve eaten because there’s a reflex thing and have him sit for 15 minutes- read books or use the TV if you have to! But I’d at least give him a week, maybe even 10 days before deciding whether or not it’s working.

It takes an average of 6 months to potty train. The 3 day stories exist but are not the norm. He’s still learning. He’s always done wees and poos in a nappy until now, it’s a new rule and sensation for him. It’ll take time.

DS still has an accident (or doesn’t make it in time so let’s a little out) most days and we started in October (he was 27mo).

It sounds like your DS is doing well and I wouldn’t stop. It’s fantastic he’s not asking for a nappy for his poos!! My DS would only poo in a nappy or pants for about 3 weeks.

Is he naked waist down? You could consider fabric training pants if you want more security, they need changing but give the feeling of wetness and are waterproof enough for say the car.

Since we started in October he’s only had 2 accidents in the car. Once was a long journey and once we forgot to take him to the loo before we left. FWIW, nursery describe DS as potty trained even though he’s not dry every day. Because he knows what he has to do and is capable. He’s just having too much fun.

Personally I wouldn't use pull-ups, this is just my opinion but I think they interfere with potty training as the DC doesn't feel wet.

When my DD was a bit resistant to potty training (she was capable, just being a touch lazy) I stuck her in washable and she was dry within a week.

are you at home with him? This will method will work well at home but won’t really be fair or transferable to nursery? If he is not initiating at all he isn’t “ready” but the way you are doing it is perfectly acceptable as “giving it a go”
it sounds like a really good start, all children learn differently. I know lots of children who are trained in 3 day and likewise lots of children who it is a slower process (usually with pull ups or training pants involved if going to nursery)
I would be wary of following a particular method and would just carry on with what is clearly working. The oh crap method in particular doesn’t work for everyone and I have seen parents follow an approach with detrimental affects.

I wouldn't stop. He's made good progress in 4 days and he isn't too young at all.

Keep going. It does take time for them to learn but the logged term gains are worth it.

That’s where we were after 3 days: are you sitting him on the potty every couple of hours? It took probably a week for self initiated wees.

Keep going! It's only been 4 days! It's going to take a few weeks at least, you must be consistent, and he's absolutely the right age. All this business of "when they are ready" sorry toddlers can't make big decisions by themselves, they rely on parents to decide when and how to teach them basic skills.

I would say if you are getting stressed or annoyed then stop straight away, otherwise fine to carry on at your child's place
Some children take longer, some are ready earlier, but there's no rush or deadline (other than starting school although special needs might affect that deadline)

We didn't really say much to her, we just kind of 'forgot' to put knickers on. She didn't seem to notice which reinforced to me that she wasn't ready. We basically tried again a few months later when we had covid. We couldn't really leave the house as we (DP and I) were too sick so we gave it another go....she nailed it in a few days. When we did it the second time, we also started speaking to her about going to Kindy....she is going at 3.5 yrs and they have to be fully toilet trained. She is insanely keen to go to kindy after watching her brother go so this was a good incentive for her too.

Thanks everyone, really helpful comments and links. I think i was getting caught up in the 'if it doesnt click quickly, something is wrong' school of thought, but he is making progress so we'll keep going. No one is getting distressed or stressed and tbh he hated nappy changes!

We started with the oh crappy potty method of being naked bottom half. He was already telling me when he was weeing in his nappy and had nappy free time after bath so that's why we started. We have only put shorts on for the garden and a quick ride on his bike for fresh air, otherwise naked waist down. I'm starting to think we need trousers on more often now as it will be longer to clean up afterwards and maybe more of an incentive to go to the potty? At the moment if he has an accident, he is very quickly back to playing again.

I started taking him with me as well as I would say I needed to go to the toilet and he wanted to come with and then go first 😅 so it's a bit of both now!

Sometimes he will do a wee and then another quite soon afterwards. Did anyone else find this?

Yesterday he did a poo on the potty without even prompting, which was amazing. Sadly today it went on the floor! I think he is finding it hard as he would usually squat so it's a slightly different position to get used to, and also we realised he wants more privacy which has been tricky as I've obviously been watching him closely! Thanks @InTheRainOnATrain we'll try the 30 minutes after meals
@hockityponktas I'm at home with him so luckily we don't have to worry about how it would go at nursery just yet. We obviously like to go out and about but no rush.
@Tbskejue thanks for your comment. How long did it take for poos?

Stick his feet on a stool if he favours a squat to poo.

I think naked is helpful if they didn’t really know when they were weeing, which is a common issue because disposable nappies are so good, because they can make the visual connection, but if he’s past that point then put on clothes. After all they’re a crucial part of leaving the house so pretty key to training that he can manage in them! Feeling the uncomfortableness of wet pants and the time it takes to change (and I used to reallyyyy drag it out) does also make them realise it’s quicker and easier to use the potty.

Weeing again quite soon afterwards probably means he didn’t fully empty his bladder, totally normal as he’s still early days but stand up, do a little wiggle dance/shake it out, then try again to see if anymore.

Sounds like you’re making steady progress which is great, I think pushing on is definitely the right call. Good luck!

My daughter will only poo on the toilet with the door shut.
We have a stick on toilet seat for little bums and a stool so she can take herself. She stays in their for ages and sings whilst she's pooing
She's perfectly happy to wee Infront of anyone but poos. That's private time!

They're all so different though- DD was fine with wees within 3 of 4 days and very rarely had accidents. She absolutely refused to poo on the potty or toilet until around 9 months later - she'd wait until we put her nappy on for bed every single night and do it then (she was very consistent!) Kids (and potty training) are stressful 🙃

I think all kids are different and ready in their own times but one key thing is consistency.

I did both my girls in a weekend and my method followed similar to the oh crap I believe.

I basically did nothing other than follow them around with no nappy or bottoms on and the potty nearby for 2 days. Luckily my floor is wooden! Only took a couple of accidents and bribes to get them doing it on the toilet. My eldest was petrified of the potty took a big bribe to get her to sit on at 2.5yrs. Then after 2 days of no bottoms introduced pants but still stayed home with potty nearby.

Only had a few accidents at preschool as they of course have lots of children not just mine to focus on. My first struggled more with overnight that took a few accidents and me telling her that her teddies wouldn’t like being weed on!

my youngest was easy as she had her big sister to watch so I tried her at 22months and she got it in a day and even managed it overnight immediately, but she’s definitely unusual!!

when you venture out with pants make sure they try for a wee before you leave and take a portable potty. They generally have set times they usually need a wee but if you have a portable potty it isn’t an issue as usually there isn’t a lot of notice at the start before it’s super urgent and you risk an accident!