How can I help my 6mo sleep better

[Cindy1802]

My LO is 6 months old and has never slept well. We have only ever achieved the typical "long stretch" at the beginning of the night for about 1 magical week around 4 months old when he slept for 5-6 hours, then woke 2 hourly after that. I was feeling great about this, until he got poorly and we went back to square one, and things never improved again. His long stretch now is 3.5 hours at best, which takes him to an hour past my bedtime so I'm only getting 1 hour sleep before the night wakings start. He then wakens every 1-2.5 hours all night long and only settles on the boob. Last night was hourly and then up for the day at 5.30.

We tried a sleep training which was advertised as gentle and not leaving baby to cry, and has amazing reviews on trust pilot. However it wasn't for us. Baby wouldn't settle so it was essentially just CIO while we were beside him.

Can anyone recommend any resources to help him be a bit more settled at night?

I am not looking to start a debate on sleep training as that term is so wide and people have very strong feelings about it. I am looking for any practical advice. I know it's normal for babies to waken throughout the night, but this does not seem like good enough levels of sleep even for baby. Hes pretty distressed and desperate for boob every time he wakens, he absolutely kicks off if I try and pick him up for a cuddle or anything else. He is miserable and cranky this morning and tbh so am I, and i have to somehow take care of him and a 3YO all day today.

FYI I can't co-sleep, I have a bad back from a previous slipped disc so find it incredibly uncomfortable.

Some things which changed the situation for us:

Nap timing - really focus on naps and wake windows with whatever you can (car/buggy etc). Worry about timing before location.
We have the last nap ending 3.5hrs hours before bedtime, meaning he is really tired and goes to sleep quicker.

Sleep association - we moved from feeding to sleep by feeding downstairs then cuddling to sleep, we can now (9mo) pat to sleep on the bed.

Using sleep phrase and song. We say "bedtime baby" and sing twinkle twinkle.

Be consistent. If you decide to stop feeding to sleep at bedtime then you need to not do it, offer other support eg cuddle etc. we found 4 days to a week changed the habit.

Dream feeding at your bedtime.

We do cosleep which has helped us massively get more sleep but I completely appreciate it's not for everyone.

Also focus on changes at bedtime first before naps, you can then move to changes at first wake, second wake continued. It's been a slow journey for us and not a quick fix, but we are comfortable with my baby not being distressed, still offering comfort etc.

Bless you, I had been having the same issue with my daughter who is 4 months old, in that she would wake and generally be unsettled.

While we thought it was because she wanted feeding, on trying to feed she was not interested, she was simply just unsettled.

A friend of ours recommended one of the 'sleeping companions' that seem to be doing the rounds as a possible option and although skeptical, my dad bought us this one https://littletotsco.com/products/snuggle-koala-plush-sleeping-companion.

Apparently the breathing movement along with the sounds are meant to help, since we received it, we have seen some slight improvement with using it although we don't use the sound on it as found that was keeping her awake for longer than usual.

But once she drops off, it seems to do a job at keeping her calm and asleep so far so fingers crossed.

Thanks both. We have stopped feeding to sleep and only feed on a schedule which has helped things through the day, but it hasn't at night. He goes 3 hours between feeds during the day but can't at night which I find incredibly frustrating!!

That sounds so hard for you. It's so easy just to give in overnight as well, just to get some sleep (completely understandably).
If he can do longer stretches in the day and you're certain he is not hungry then I'd say just be consistent with not feeding to sleep one wake at a time. It's so much easier said than done though.
We are using a sleep coach at the moment and this is what she has said to us.
I would also say that we went through a very rocky patch at 6 and 8 months where nothing worked at all.
Hopefully you get some other suggestions!