My dd (year 6) is sweet, kind, fun and has a good sense of humour. She is well liked by her classmates and teachers, and the other parents always tell me what a lovely girl she is. And I know I'm biased but she really is. I've never known her to be unkind or a bad friend to anyone (bar winding up her younger sibling at times). She has a small group of core friends who she has been friends with since she started school. They are also really nice girls and they all get on well.
However, due to situations going on at my dd's middle school (Years 5-8) with staffing/class behavioural problems, my DD's class keeps being altered (both classmates and teachers) and she's gotten to know lots of new kids over the past year. She had a best friend outside of her core group who she absolutely adored. They were tight knit for about a year and then one day another girl joined their friendship pair. Dd and this new girl got on fine to start with but then the new girl started calling dd fat, ugly, a pig etc and her best friend started following this other girl's lead and started turning against dd. The new girl then continued bullying dd for months after even after dd and her best friend were no longer friends. Dd was distraught that her best friend had dumped her and that both girls had turned on her but she's pretty resilient and picked herself up.
The class was then reorganised again and dd and her core group got friendly with twins that moved to their class. They have been close for months, and the twins were particularly taken with my dd, rang her everyday, made her gifts, invited her for a sleepover and days out etc. The twins mother said how lovely my dd was, what a lovely friendship the girls have, the twins continued making her bracelets and ringing her everyday after school and then my dd was off school ill for a few days and when she returned the twins had not only left their friendship group but had started hanging around with her old best friend and the girl who had previously bullied her.
Dd is putting a brave face on it but I can tell that once again she is feeling rejected and it's made worse by the fact the twins are now hanging around with the girl who bullied dd.
Before she went to bed tonight she was talking to me about the twins and I could tell from the way she was speaking she was trying not to cry, and it felt like she was sounding me out to see if her sad feelings were justified or something? She also said to me something along the lines of "people who I thought were my friends always drop me but they don't do it to anyone else" and she looked really sad and unsure.
I remember those feelings myself from being at school but I'm trying really hard not to let those feelings/memories cloud my response to her situation so I gave her a hug, reminded her of how lovely she is, and just said something about friendships coming and going and told her how lucky her and her core friends were to have each other. But I'm not sure this is the right way to go or not. I don't want to dismiss her feelings or make her feel like she can't be sad but I also don't want her to dwell on girls who aren't prepared to be good friends to her. Ever since she went to bed the conversation has been going around in my head and I'm trying to work out how I could have dealt with it better as I'm now feeling really anxious about it and keep coming up with worst case scenario situations in my head!
How do I deal with her feelings of rejection?