8.5 month baby night wakings

[sadmummy123456]

Hi All,

My 8.5 DS is exclusively breast fed. Born at 36+4 so really 7.5 MO with regards to sleep development. Since 4 months has been waking numerous times throughout the night. This can range from 3-15 times a night. Tonight he has fed 9-10 times (I’ve lost count) over a 5 hr period. Will often leak through nappies, or require nappy change due to amount he is feeding overnight, which obviously further disturbs sleep. He has gained weight well - sitting on 75th centile now.

I’m just exhausted. I haven’t had more than 2 hrs sleep in a row since February. We are co-sleeping as find this the only way to survive.

I’m aware he has a very strong nurse to sleep association. But I’m not sure how to break it - I know he is too young for the Jay Gordon method and I don’t want to CIO. Am keen to carry on BF, I do love the beautiful bond we have from it.

Any advice would be amazing! Thank you!

You poor thing, you must be on your last legs. You need to break the feed to sleep association, it's not doing either of you any good. Try Precious Little Sleep (2nd edition) by Alexis Dubief. It's currently on Amazon for £12. We used it when sleep training DS at 9 months - I breastfed him til he was 2, and still fed him once a night til 15 months.

I was in an exactly the same situation. 3 solid meals a day and waking me up 8-12 times at night. I did pick up/put down method by Baby Wisperer Solves All Your Problems at around 8.5 months. It does take a lot of resolve. However as Baby Wisperer says it's one thing to cry alone and another thing to cry on someone's shoulder. With Baby Wisperer method you put your baby down they start to cry. You wait until they become hysterical and pick them up. If they stop crying on the way to your shoulder- you picked up too soon. You calm them down on your shoulder then put them down. They start crying on the way down- you still put them down and wait for a hysterical note. Repeat. The idea is to ignore the cries of frustration and only pick up on cries on distress. Baby Wisperer has different methods for different ages. She passed away age 54 and her book could do with a bit of revision for clarity hence my explanation. The first time I tried it took 1.5 hours. I thought my baby would never forgive me however I had been a walking zombie for the previous 7 months so I couldn't carry on. He woke up all smiles and actually was less grumpy since we mastered this method. I think he was chronically overtired just as I was. Baby Wisperer used to work as a neonatal nurse, she knows a lot about babies and young children and there are lots of good tips in her book. Ignore her breastfeeding advice, times were different, the rest of her book is excellent. Second edition with yellow cover is better. She literally saved me from a nervous breakdown. I continued to breastfeed till 13 months

hi sadmummy123456
Goodness sounds so tough. I am a sleep coach and work a lot with 8 month old babies. How are the naps in the day? Also do you use any other settling techniques alongside the feed to sleep (which is totally normal by the way)
Kate x

Thank you!

I try to track his wake windows during the day - usually 1.5-2-2.30-3 hrs. I find the last wake window is a bit long so he tends to have a better first run of sleep if 2.45 (better luck self soothing). Naps are varied. First nap seems to be the longest - usually about 1.5 hrs then 45 minute lunchtime nap, last nap around 30 mins in the pram.

I will often take first nap with him as I’m also exhausted! But he will have a very long nap even if I don’t lie down with him!
I used to pat to sleep and he did have a short period of success with this for night wakings but haven’t since 5 months.

great- you could try adding some more calming techniques in as you are feeding, sometimes called 'habit stacking'. It could be white noise, patting, shushing, humming, singing and gradually as he gets used to these, try to engage some of these on the wake ups. As he gets used to more than one sleep cue, it becomes easier to 'wean' off the more problematic one for you.

In terms of naps- i obviously don't know all the exact timings so hard to give exact info on these. However, try expanding the first wake time and also sometimes (not always) capping the first nap is helfpul, and allows sleep pressure to build more for the middle of the day (2nd nap). Then as he still requires a 3rd nap, cap this one at 20-30 minutes. Expanding wake times at this age can help with night struggles. Some babies do sleep for long periods in the morning, but it can (in some cases) have a knock on impact on night sleep....
For example, the below;

wake- 6:30 am
1st nap - 9-9:30 - 45 mins (cap if you can)
2nd nap - 1/1:30 after lunch. 1- 1.5 hours depending how it goes
3rd nap - 20-30 minutes ideally - where 3rd nap is later, just push bedtime back slightly to accomodate.

He may drop the 3rd nap eventually but likely will not make it through just yet. These rough timings are helpful when it comes to dropping 3rd nap as you are expanding wake times out a bit and spacing naps.

Absolutely do not be afraid to have an up to 4 hours wake time before bed, yes babies can become disregulated but sleep pressure is the main thing you want to maximise, so it is kind of keeping them going through cuddles, a feed, holding, music a bath whatever you can!

hope this helps x

Going back to the Baby Wisperer method.... she also says day and night sleep are related, overtired babies don't sleep well at night. She suggests following the baby's body language rather than the clock. Main sign of tiredness at this stage is rubbing eyes and pulling on hair if I remember correctly. This is the time to use pick up/put down technique. I vaguely remember her saying 1.5 hour naps are better than 45 minutes ones, corresponds with my experience. As I have said Baby Wisperer used to work as a paediatric nurse with babies and young children. I swear by her advice. I used her other technique with my other child- he was doing 5-6 hours at 2 months whist being exclusively breastfed and despite being a much more difficult baby to start with. She has different techniques for different ages. If you really can't stand the idea of letting your baby cry you can try No Cry Sleep Solutions by Elizabeth Pantley

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and tips!