DD’s 4th Birthday Party… help!

[Anwen5]

Even as I’m typing this, I know a) how ridiculous I am and b) what I’d say to someone else in this position - but just looking for outside perspectives please 😊

DD turns 4 in July. She says she wants a party in the garden - princess theme. I’m REALLY trying hard not to let it stress me out, but the thought of it all is just so overwhelming and making me super anxious. It would only be a small ish party, probably around 20 people, but I just don’t want all those people in my house and have to host them all - makes me feel like running away! 🫣

By the time I buy all the decorations, food etc, it’ll be quite an expensive party. She doesn’t really have friends so there’ll be more grown ups than children, adding a weird dynamic to the whole thing. And it seems like for a princess theme it’s either all out or don’t bother - go big or go home, so to speak.

I tentatively raised the idea of waiting until she’s been in reception for a year at school and having a bigger party next year, but she was very upset and is always talking about her party, so I can’t just say oh yeah it’s not happening now sorry. But how can I make it enjoyable and not stressful for myself? It’s my little girl’s 4th birthday and I want to enjoy it too.

Don’t even mention the fact it will probably rain 😬

Hire a hall and have it there then there's not lots of people in the house.

Lots of options here. If you're happy to have it in the house then go for it, alternatively like PP said hire a hall. There are lots of very affordable church halls around where I am which are very popular for parties. Some soft plays round here for princess themed soft play packages too. Princess theme is quite simple in that you can but generic princess party things easily so it shouldn't cost too much or be used to source. Also who are all the adults? Does your DC not have friends at nursery or whatever, who is she envisioning will be at her party?

Is your garden/home big enough for 20? In which case dd will have to compromise on location.

How many of the 20 are children ? How many of the invited adults would be happy to dress up as part of the theme for entertainment ? I saw a social media video where a dad dressed as a dragon and had the invited children chase him away for gate crashing 😂

You can have a lovely party at home with say 5 kids (and each kid brings a parent) which will make things more manageable. Something like a massive play date where everybody arrives dressed up and there’s fancier food and cake. Look at the sort of parties that our mums would have thrown for our childhoods if you want budget friendly ideas.

I agree that weather is always a worry when hosting at home - even in July so I’ve paid to celebrate out of the home more than at home.

I would rather sit on a cactus than host a party at home. No way would I want a load of other people’s children and most likely their parents breaking my possessions, using my loo, messing up my house and terrorizing my pets.
Hire a hall or opt for a soft play party!

Local hotels sometimes offer free room for payment of party food. That and entertainment might work

In the nicest way, she is 4 and hasn't been to too many parties so I don't think you need to 'go big or go home'. Ask kids to wear fancy dress and get some plastic tiaras for the adults if you like. Some pink cupcakes. Plan a couple of party games with a vague princess theme. Put on Disney songs. Who are the 20 people and do they all really need to come?

Spend some time working out with her what she really wants to make it a princess party. You don't have to go mad. When mine were that age, it was all about the cake and balloons. You can get some balloons with crowns on, a cake she likes, ask children to dress up and have some sparkly bits around. An activity could be making a crown or you could buy ones. A party ship will probably have princess paper plates and party bags. Don't get sucked on to an Insta worthy elaborate set up when she is not necessarily bothered. Add the word 'Princess' in front of things e.g. Princess pass the parcel.

Edited to say: we had 4 friends, 2 siblings and parents to DS's 5th party and that worked great. Any more would have been a squash!