What age did whole class parties stop and how to deal with your DC being left out

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So it seems the first party is happening to which not the whole class is invited (6th birthday).

DC in absolute floods of tears, heartbroken. DC considers the birthday child a friend.

DC possibly autistic and doesn’t quite fit in, although very social, loving & regards all classmates as great friends.

Is this the beginning of the end of whole class parties?

And how do I deal with things if DC never makes the guest list? (Which I fear may happen)

Its been a mix really, some have been whole class and others smaller. Aged 7.

It is hard isn't it, when your child is upset. I just let my child know that maybe they can only invite a few or that its too expensive to invite everyone. The best thing I did was throw a party and invite everyone. Your child can play with classmates and know he is inclusive. You get to host the parents too and hopefully more invites will come your way.

I think we stopped doing whole class parties in Year 2. You just need to talk to your child about how not everyone will be on everyone’s list, that often, parents will impose a limit on a guest list etc.

For us, they stopped maybe around Y3. But that said, my youngest is Y1 and hasn't been invited to a birthday for every child this year. I have no idea if they had birthday parties and he wasn't invited, or they didn't have a party. Some parents aren't keen on whole class parties - if anything they are expensive and a pain to organise - and certainly my eldest hasn't been invited to parties before even of close friends. It happens. They are best friends with one this week and another the next week. I wouldn't worry necessarily that it's because your dc doesn't have friends or is being excluded. Sometimes these things happen.

Thankfully we haven't even had them this year in reception. There's been a couple, but that's it. The rest have been smaller

I have a year 2 and a year 5 child and I have found that parties have dwindled since Covid and most parents are doing smaller ones.

My children have started getting more invites to parties from children they meet at clubs, I think it's easier for children with additional needs to find children they click with better when they do a club with a shared interest

Never had them

Whole class parties were the norm through reception and Y1, but less so in Y2 and Y3 (although there are still some). When DD asked about parties she hadn't had an invite to I said that some children had smaller parties for various reasons, and we could only go to a party if she'd been invited. What was a bit tricky was when children verbally invite all their friends, but that's not followed up with an actual invitation - I think sometimes kids can get a bit enthusiastic inviting their classmates without thinking about the limits their parents have put on the party (e.g. set number of guests).

It's difficult when you're considering whether possible SEN means that your child isn't going to be invited to many parties, so I'd really try to help them not take it personally. Is it possible for your child to have a regular weekend activity to a) help them make friends outside of school, and b) give them something to look forward to/distract them with at weekends? I'd also plan fun outings so that they don't see things like bowling/cinema trips as stuff that only birthday kids do, and they're still getting to enjoy those special activities.

At least they have been invited to parties my daughter went all the way through primary without a single party invite, she's left primary now not once was she ever invited to a party.

DD is autistic and I decided to continue with whole class parties throughout primary, in the hope that she'd get at least some invites back. It worked to an extent, she always had a few invites every year, though not always from the people she'd have liked. On weekends when there was a party she would have really wanted to go but wasn't invited, we'd usually go away (usually to a theme park or similar) to distract her and feel like she wasn't stuck at home while everyone else was having fun.