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Parenting

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My 5yrs old is bullying his 3yr sister ,any suggestions?

7 replies

76sid · 07/04/2008 18:15

I am becoming so tired of my 5yr old doing anything he can to hurt or upset his sister .I feel I have tried anything but would welcome any suggestions ,does anyone believe in middle child syndrome.
His behaviour although most of the time goes unnoticed by sister she is picking up on alot of his bad traits and she is now demonstrating the same behaviour.

OP posts:
Alambil · 07/04/2008 18:38

What discipline does he get when he's nasty?

76sid · 07/04/2008 21:06

This has been hard and a painful journey ,trying to be consistent.He finally admitted after a bad dy yesterday that he wants to make her upset ,to cry and in a way that was I feel a step forward but in everything he does at the moment he has to be in control he really isnt bothered by any sort of punishment the naughty step ,taking away treats ,privalidges he is not that keen on exclusion I don't feel that smacking would help the situation?
I thought about doing a sticker chart again for every half hr he does'nt hurt his sister.?

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mousehole · 07/04/2008 21:10

This reply has been withdrawn

withdrawn at poster's request

juuule · 07/04/2008 21:26

I agree with mousehole. Brothers and sisters do push and shove each other and try to get the upper hand. Hopefully, they also have times when they get along. I would keep them apart whenever it looks like they are going to start and tell them why. Do they play together at times aswell. Comment on how nice it is when everyone is pleasant when they are playing well. Split them up when things are not well. I think you just have to stay alert to when the situation starts to deteriorate and it needs you to step in. As his sister is younger (possibly toddler?) then you will probably have to intervene quite a bit to prevent her being hurt. Eventually she'll find her own way of defending herself but you'll still need to watch for when things get out of hand.

juuule · 07/04/2008 21:29

Just re-read the title and saw that his sister is 3yo.

Heated · 07/04/2008 21:52

My brother and I were evil to each other. My mother said she never knew children who fought as much as we did. She even showed me an article that put it all down to penile envy lol!!

But I'm to think of some of the things I did. The worst was helpfully nudging him downstairs when he was about 6 and he rolled like a hedgehog.

I am not typing this looking forlornly out of a borstal window and my brother and I get on fine now as adults.

I'm thinking now what would have stopped me?

Lots of open cuddles, affection and the words 'I love you' heard everyday. My brother was the favoured child & I was jealous, which doesn't mean I wasn't loved, I was, but just something I sensed and confirmed later by another relative.

Distraction and after school/wkend activities. Keeping ds so busy and on the go that he doesn't have the energy. My brother and I had too much time on our hands.

Giving each enough of your exclusive time. His time with mum when he comes home from school?

A serious fatherly word along the lines of "Son, I'm disappointed in you. That's no way to treat your sister..." - would have had the same effect if my dad had said it to me. Or my g-ps.

And remove dd when he gets too rough. If my brother was going to cry and tell my mother, I made sure that last wallop was the hardest.

I know, I know

76sid · 07/04/2008 22:09

Thanks so much for all your encouragement it can just get so tiring I am desperate to find the good things in him ....I will take all on board and look forward to the end of this phase!!!

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