How do I handle this - teenage son making racist comments

[KurtCobainLover]

I just had a phone call from the school to inform me that my 13 year old DS is in internal exclusion today and tomorrow as him and a group of male friends called a girl a racist name. He’s admitted it and apologised but I am beyond angry. It’s sexist and racist and I can’t begin to imagine how the poor girl must be feeling.

I know shouting at him isn’t going to help but how do I get him understand that what he’s done is completely unacceptable and help him to make better choices?

I’ve spoken to his dad and agreed he’s lost all tech and is grounded.

Grounding and tech removal is a good start.

I would also get him to write a letter of apology to the girl, and make him spend a few hours of his grounding educating himself on the history of racism, and the repercussions that could happen in his own life if he is racist again.

I agree with this

Not only does he need to know that racism and sexism is wrong, he also needs to understand why. I'd be making him do some research and then asking for a lengthy explanation after to ensure it has sunk in.

This is sad but I have a relative staying with us at the moment who is raciest and 21 years old !! I cannot believe it in this day and age

you could ask him to watch some documentaries to educate himself but a good talking to and removing the tech is a good idea

Thank you for your replies. I was in a bit of a state when I posted yesterday.

He was very tearful when I picked him up and we had a long talk about making better choices and putting himself in the girls shoes and how it must have felt for her.

He’s grounded for 3 weeks and lost his tech for that time too. His dad is buying some books on racism that he’ll have to read during the time he’s not in school.