Has anyone else ever felt bullied by their child's headteacher? Our experience began shortly after the new headteacher joined our lovely village primary school. My eldest son, who is much shorter than his classmates, faced relentless bullying about his height. The school’s response was non-existent. Despite my numerous complaints to the teachers and the headteacher, nothing was done.
When an Ofsted survey was conducted, I was honest about my disappointment with the school’s handling of bullying. My comments were significant given my passion for the school—I volunteer a lot of time to the school helping children read and running the garden club. Although the survey was supposed to be anonymous, my comments were read out, making me identifiable. From that moment, the headteacher began giving me hostile looks. He even punished my son after he was kicked by a bully, claiming my son lied despite eyewitness accounts to the contrary.
This pattern continued. My two boys were unjustly punished, often missing lunch, break, and PE. Recently, my younger son has been repeatedly hurt by another boy in his class—stabbed with pens, jabbed in the neck, kicked, and had objects thrown at him. On April 30th, this boy violently attacked my son, jumping on him repeatedly. This boy is considerably large for his age, even bigger than me as an adult. The school did nothing in response. The same boy threatened to 'punch his head in.' Two days later, the boy knocked my son unconscious. The school spoke to both boys, but the aggressor claimed my son "made a face at him." My son cried for three hours, left alone in a room, without any head injury checks. I wasn't informed until school pick-up when the headteacher took me into his office and accused my son of bullying the other child.
After this incident, I was reluctant to send my son back to school without reassurance of his safety. The headteacher threatened me with a fine, despite the issue being under review by the Governors. I explained that my son had a concussion and increased anxiety post-incident. The school demanded a doctor's note, which I provided, yet I still received a fine. (Also just to note, our school doesn't issue fines ordinarily, many of the class have been on holidays and these have not been fined, yet ours was due to a safety concern.)
As part of the action plan to return my son to school, the school promised closer supervision of the two boys during lunch and breaks and assured me my son wouldn't be left crying for hours. However, the headteacher sent over a "risk assessment" which included inappropriate comments such as:
- Parents should impose consequences at home if our son hesitates coming into school due to anxiety, he only has anxiety because of school so this is an extraordinarily harsh suggestion.
- Disregarding parental accounts of the events that happen at school shared via WhatsApp.
- Criticising our decision to let our son attend a friend’s party to maintain his social activity, based on second-hand information from children—precisely what we were told not to rely on.
- Told that my son will be added to a behaviour record plan, something he's never been on. We were not told this at the time, only 15 days after the events, in which time my son had not set foot in the building?!
I feel utterly helpless. My son was bullied for months, seriously hurt, and then labeled as the bully. Now, we are being bullied by the headteacher, who is abusing his power. We were even advised to look for another school, which headteachers are not allowed to suggest.
Does anyone have any advice? I've contacted the council but told it has to be handled by the Church as it's Church of England Voluntary Aided or Governors (but the Governors have demonstrated clear bias, which is understandable as they're associated with the head teacher and protecting their school). I've started gathering evidence for Ofsted, it just feels like a constant unnecessary battle! All because I would like school to be a safe and fair place for my son. And in my plea to make this happen I'm being fined and my son being added to a behaviour record plan.