Would nursery flag potential autism

[Oiiiiiilli]

2.5 DS is going through a bit of a shy / nervous / anxious stage

he is sobbing and screaming at dogs out on walks or strangers if they walk near us

he goes to nursery 3 full days a week and they say he loves it and plays along the other kids fine

unfortunately we have no kids in the family and my friends don’t so the 4 other days a week we don’t really mix except when we go to parks / play centres etc

but at the moment he’s asking kids to go away? He doesn’t want to play near them like at the park today wanted everyone off the slide set in stead of waiting to go up

he clings to me when he has these meltdowns
he sometimes ignores us when we speak to him
he adores his cars, I set up all his toys his cars are the one he can sit and play with for ages
his speech is behind so I can’t teach him to say a certain phrase rather than melt down and he can’t explain how he feels
when he’s playing he gets very annoyed (meltdown) if a toy doesn’t fit with another (he lines his cars up and pushes) or doesn’t do something he wants

so i did an online test it said likely. And I have Asperger’s , his dad diagnosed with ADHD so it could be possible

but nursery haven’t flagged anything? And when I’ve spoke to them he interacts as normal with the kids nothing they’d find concerning

i do know online tests aren’t fully accurate and also at this age he’s changing as a person so could be a phase

Just wondered as a family member said it to us, I think mainly as we have Asperger’s and adhd too

Anyone ? X

Obviously no one can diagnose your son as ND over the Internet. It's a bit tricky as he is still very young and the range of typical behaviours is still very wide. Then again, if he is ND then early diagnosis and support is really helpful. Can you contact the HV and tell them everything you've put here?

With your regards to your actual question - would nursery flag it - the answer is "maybe, maybe not", sorry. I don't think they would lie to you if/when you ask them a straight question, but they're not qualified to diagnose, and bear in mind your son might mask at nursery (if he is ND) or it might be that the behaviours he's showing are not out of the ordinary for 2.5.

Sample of 3:

1. Flagged as having delays in development. 1:1 support. Went to special school, wasn't diagnosed with ASD until 15.

2. Refused support for SN because she was clearly copying her sister and having tantrums. Diagnosed with ASD at 11.

3. 'Quirks' dismissed as sensitivity/being particular. On the ASD waiting list at 15 and a psychologist has said that if she wasn't, she'd be referring her.

So none were picked up at preschool for ASD. They aren't classic cases though, being girls.

Yes he doesn’t seem majorly different the only child we can compare to is kids out and about and I’ve course see other kids have meltdowns I don’t know what they’re like/their age but the other week when he was confident on the slide a little girl was asking him to get off

so it may just be phase/behaviour for his age

it is interesting the ‘masking’ thing if this is the case

But speaking of nursery, we seen one of the managers who he sees a lot (they go and get involved a bit) and loves her I. There ! Out and about the other week, he clung to me and got nervous like she was a stranger

DH pointed out she may have seemed like one without uniform etc he may have not known it was her as all he sees is her in a uniform?

but I just wonder

Not in our experience. Have two ND DC both of whom managed to get to almost the end of their school life before the school agreed that their might be something that needs investigation.

For us, things were mentioned in infant school but process started in junior