How to teach children to be thankful- ideas please

[Anonymouseky]

I have two children aged 7 and 5. We are not well off by any means, in fact far from it. Yet, I always shield the children from financial hardship by sacrificing other things myself (as I’m sure most parents do). For example, I always make sure they have a book if there’s a book fair at school, they always go on the school trips and they have everything they need and some of what they want. They go to school in an affluent area, but we live in a less affluent area (still nice enough) and commute in. The result is that they see the things they have as the norm, as most of their classmates have those things too. They seem to be oblivious to how lucky they are. I don’t expect the younger one to really understand, but the older one is particularly ungrateful at times. It sometimes feels like he could be given everything and it would never be enough. So, I’m trying to show them how different things are for other people. We’ve watched a few videos about how some people live and that seems to have been quite thought provoking. I’m also going to make a point of getting them to pick a few things in the supermarket to donate to the local food bank. Just wondering how others teach their children gratitude? Open to any ideas. I hate the thought of them turning into spoilt, entitled teenagers

By modeling it.

This. Thank them, thank others in their earshot and be grateful out loud for the good things in your life.

I find this hard too. We sponsor a child through Plan, the letters you get back are infrequent but have been thought provoking.
I try to make the DC do at least a little of the work eg they didn’t buy their bikes or even particularly notice pr be grateful that they are really lucky to have them, but they do have to keep them clean and look after them themselves.
Not exactly the same but we do community litter picks as well as food bank donations, it’s actually fun and it gets them thinking about contributing as well as receiving.

I completely agree. I am by nature a very positive and thankful person, but they are with their dad part of the week and he has always been very glass half empty. My eldest seems to have a similar temperament. I’ve started being even more vocally grateful and positive in front of the kids in the hope that they might start thinking the same way. The youngest does seem to be taking it in

I haven’t heard of Plan, but that sounds like a really good idea! I thought about shoe box appeals at Christmas too. My eldest did ask about litter picking a few weeks ago, so I may run with that too!

They need to be doing things for others without expectation of a reward.
My son helps his grandad on Sunday afternoons. Washing the car, doing the garden, painting. Both love it and it’s bonding time for them. Then in the evening we have dinner together.

I think reading stories is always good as it's proven to help develop empathy. Also, discussing some aspects of politics in a child friendly way and talking to children about those less fortunate in a way that helps develop their empathy. So e.g. when I was a kid my mum would buy a Big Issue and then chat to me about homelessness, and so on, in a way that helped me develop my understanding.

If you do shoeboxes just pick which charity carefully as some are very evangelical and basically use the shoeboxes as a way to try to convert people. Operation Christmas Child is one example of a missionary type shoebox appeal. There are better ones too I believe.

Things like when it's time to get rid of too-small clothes, sorting though for the charity shop and maybe letting the child choose which charity they go to and stuff like that could be nice.

Pocket money. No book at the fair unless they spend their own money. I do DD's age every fortnight. She is a saver now, from being a total spendthrift as a smaller child.

They learn budgeting, saving, how much things cost. You have to NEVER police what they buy though. If they want to buy sweets or game purchases, you just let them. They need to learn themselves. The most I did was, "mum, I'm spending my pocket money on this [insert tat]" "OK love, I thought you were saving for [insert thing she wants] but it's your money". Chores are separate and expected regardless.

We also do Kiva to invest in businesses for women in the majority world but that doesn't help as much as pocket money.

Every day I ask my kids what they are thankful for at breakfast time. I also say what I'm thankful for. It's a lovely conversation.

Not quite the same but can they start doing weekly chores for some pocket money that they save up and then they use that to buy the books at fairs etc.

Like @GeckoFeet, when we sit down to dinner we go round the table and each say one thing we are grateful for.