3 & 1 year old - when will it get better/easier?

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Please tell me it gets better, it's so so hard right now I'm exhausted and feeling a bit depressed again (had terrible PND with DD1). I can't do anything with both of them as they fight over toys, run off in different directions and/or cry and scream at the same time. Please reassure me. I know it doesn't always get "easier" just "different" but I really need to hear positive things right now. TiA

Mine are now 5 and 3. The last few months have seen a definite shift in collaborative playing together. It's like they see each others value now, and they will play together for hours. Mad games that only they understand. Yes there is semi regular fallings out but it is SO much easier than the point you're at now. Stick with it. You're at a really hard age combo now but it does get easier!

Thank you @DCINightingale that sounds lovely. I look forward to that! How do you find going out with both of them?

5 and 3, I had an hour sitting on a terrace at the national trust with a coffee while they played hide and seek in the bushes next to me. I was just amazed that we had finally reached that stage finally when a man with 3 and 1 asked 'when does it get better?'. And I could say, NOW!

I found it got unbelievable easier when my youngest was three and a bit, then after that it got even easier. I loved the primary school years and also enjoyed my dC when they were teenagers. The stage you are at is one of the hardest and your previous year too.

Every year is easier. For me when they get to 3 and can reliably go to the toilet and sleep through the night it was amazing.

I have 8 and 5 yr old and they can happily play for an hour together and no intervention maybe needed.

I think when the eldest gets to 3 it got easier. Mine are now 3 and 5 and it is so so much easier. I feel like I’ve come out of the fog and actually enjoy my kids. Hang in there OP.

Ahh @Lokshen sounds great. We tried a NT park last week and it was hell - both were crying or screaming and they set each other off most of the time. I felt like I will never get to enjoy these things again so thanks for the hope

So it sounds like I have another 18 months or so before I start to feel things are easier. I'll keep looking towards that light at the end of the tunnel...

3.5 and nearly 5 year old and it it was when my youngest turned 3. Hang in there. Mine play nicely now and I'm so thankful I had them both close together. I'm taking a good hour or two of play where I can get on with things. I take them out on my own all the time now and we even went cinema the other day. I remember your stage and asking the same. Youngest turning 3 was a game changer for me.

Mine are 5.5 and 3.5. My eldest is autistic, whereas my youngest appears to be neurotypical. They fight half the time and play beautifully the other half so it’s a mixed bag. But it’s certainly easier than when they were younger!

Mine will be 5 and 3 in 2 months time and it's getting easier. They are best friends and going out now is a breeze compared to 12 months ago. Youngest toilet trained early after watching eldest. Mine just don't like to sleep though the night so they both end up in my bed during the night!

I'd agree 5 and 3. We had a huge turn around at the 3rd birthday. Thank god as I had nothing left to give!

useful thread thanks OP 😊 I have a 4.5yo and almost 2yo, and am finding it hard going atm. but it is becoming easier overall I think. they do argue, but they have more nice play too as they get older.

Mine are now 4 & 6. It 1000000% gets easier!!

It's getting better here. They're 4yr9mo and 2yr3mo now, but it's so much easier than it was 6-9 months ago. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter by the day.

I think once my youngest figures out collaborative play, and they play together rather than squabbling over the same toy it'll be great. So like others have been saying, 5 and 3.

My youngest is 3 and my oldest about to turn 5. They have started having these elaborate, long make belief sessions that we're not allowed to interrupt. It's fab. Now, if only we could crack toileting!

My DC didn’t play with each other very much, one would play with his trains, the other seemed to like counting things and placing them in and out of a box all day long. The main thing it was peaceful and not too taxing for me. Once the youngest was three he spent all day dressed as Spider-Man playing with his wrestlers and could fully understand what I was saying and it became very enjoyable.

I found this age hard, harder then when the younger one wasn't moving as he would be in the carrier all the time.. fenced in playgrounds with a single exit were my safe places. And it's just awful as they run off in a separate directions when out

My boys are now 3 and 5. We tend to buy the same toys to stop the fighting over the same thing. And my three year old still spends a lot of time in the buggy as he can't keep up with the 5 year old.

But this age is much fun. They do play together, eat the same food, bottles are gone and nearly out of nappies. And my two can be trusted to play in a different room while I have a cup of tea

You need a break and some "me time" is all so that you can come back to it all with recharged batteries.

I would have them out in the fresh air running around and wearing themselves out whenever you can. Then bring them home feed them and put them to bed.

Thanks all, feeling a lot more hopeful after reading your comments 😊

You are definitely at the worst bit. Keep going, I promise it gets better.

Mine are now 8&6 and describe each other as their best friends. I'm not going to pretend two boys is easy, but it's so much easier than it was a couple of years ago.

I find myself getting misty eyed about when they were cute and tiny, but then posts like yours remind me of how tough it was!