To move DC school?

[Poodle123456]

At reception age our child was offered a school we didn’t pick and was a Catholic school, which we are not, and due to a huge oversubscription of the schools in our area, we couldn’t get him in any of our choices. We stayed on the waiting lists for the first term of reception and couldn’t get a place. He wasn’t happy at the school and neither were we, so we moved him to a local village school, it’s small (15 per year group). He is happy there, and it’s a nice school.

At first we loved the idea of the village school, but we have always had this underlying feeling that the school wasn’t 100% right for us as a family. (Although it was much better than his first school). We can’t walk there, we have to drive, there aren’t many clubs they do, and his friendship group is very small just to name a few things. It feels like he’s outgrowing the school… he’s a very social child who loves sports but often tells us there’s only 1 or 2 boys he can play with.

He has always been on the waiting lists for schools close to us that are walkable and bigger and were our choices. I guess I’m wondering if a space came up, would it be unreasonable to consider moving him again. I’ve always told myself I know how I’ll feel if a space did become available. He’s just about to finish year one.

I also question daily if we made a mistake moving him in the first place, and should have just hoped a place came up locally, but unfortunately for us we really didn’t like the ethos of the school. The religious aspect was incredibly strong and as atheists we found it quite hard to get on with it.

We have a daughter starting reception in the village school in September. Any advice on what you’d do in our situation if a space came up at one of our preferred schools?

Ask yourself what will happen if there is an aspect of the next school you dislike. Yes your son will settle into a new setting but multiple moves is not good for him. There won't be the perfect school out there.

That’s so true, I’ve been telling myself no school will ever be perfect and he’s happy which is the main thing. I guess it’s just because we felt like we never got a chance at any of the schools we actually wanted him to go to, and spent lots of time looking around 🤯 We miss walking the school run and can’t quite understand why we can’t shake this feeling of it’s just not quite right and I guess that’s why he’s on the waiting lists. If a space does come up I’m hoping we’d know what to do. Our son often says on his own he wishes he had more children in his class, but equally says he likes school.

Then I think you need to make a decision that you can stick to. I think a move is fine and if there are serious issues then yes move. However, I think at some point you have to decide to stick it out. I have seen kids whose parents move them on every time there is an issue or perceived problem. The kids have difficulty settling. They pick up on their parents' anxiety and dissatisfaction with school. You could move and you will have the walk to school you want. However you could also get a class with lots of disruption or a class with a teacher you don't rate or a class where your child has friendship issues or a school where the communication is poor or a school where the standards are not high or a school that doesn't have great clubs etc etc. You can see where I am going! Most parents are or will be dissatisfied with their child's school at some point.

mines going to a Catholic school (I’m not Catholic). But I think it’s good to show them that people think differently, it’s good for critical thinking.

I wouldn’t move him again, children need consistency and stability to feel secure. sounds like he’s happy where he is now

I don’t mind religion at all, but when the school put religious aspects ahead of other things we felt it wasn’t right for our son to miss out on some things to out a religion we are not part of first.

At the moment it’s all ‘what ifs’ as I don’t know if a place will ever come up, I guess we’ll know if a space was offered how we’d all feel.

The school shouldn’t be doing that. They have to teach the curriculum set by the government. They can 👌 not teach what they want in RE - ( our school does covers other religions too which is great)

That’s meant to say they can only teach what they want in RE

Anyway it sounds like you’ll never be completely happy. I totally get this (I feel the same). We just want things perfect for our children’s education but I’m not sure you’ll ever get that

If a place becomes available, I would ask your child how they feel about it.

we moved house when I was little and there was no room in the local primary school. My poor mum had to walk me and my sister over a mile and half each way, every day to school and back (very few families had more then one car). But we both liked the school and made friends. We had been there several years before spaces became available at the local school. My parents asked us if we wanted to move school, even with the long walk every day we both said no we where happy and had friends. It made little difference when moving onto high school as both primary schools went to the same high schools.

If your son if settled and happy that the most important thing, I would only move him again if he was having issues.

Thanks everyone!