Scared - 7 year old says I am not me???

[OrangeCrushes]

My daughter has gone through a lot of trauma lately, and had a very stressful experience today.

At bedtime, she suddenly said, "you're not my mummy. You are doing such a good job of copying her!" And then asked questions that only I would know the answer to. She seemed sincerely frightened that I am not me, and cried for a long time. She still wanted me to hug and comfort her. This all went on for an hour.

She later calmed down and clearly was comforted that I really am me.

This has happened once before.

What should I do?

I would ask the GP for advice.

my son went through a phase of saying / thinking things like this. it was quite disturbing. each time i reassured him that i was me and tried to change the subject and lighten the mood. i learned not to give it too much conversational airtime as the longer we talked about it the more paranoid he became, whereas when i brushed it off he'd lose interest. eventually he grew out of it.

Oh wow, that sounds heartbreaking. Sending a big hug to you both.
No real advice I guess, but I’d be tempted to check what she’s been watching/reading/friends have been chatting about, basically is there anywhere she got this idea from?
A chat to the school nurse could be a good idea too? Or another health professional.

It's comforting to hear about someone else who has gone through this without it being psychosis or something. She is so distressed when it happens, and it's very scary for me too

@Zorya thanks, maybe I will do that. She seems to be exposed to lots of silly ideas at school etc.

@Refugenewbie it is quite difficult getting in touch with her GP, but possibly worth considering.

Hi op. All 3 of mine have gone through this. All at around the same age as your dd. Mostly at bed time too. I remembered feeling very disturbed when my youngest started doing it. By the time my 3rd was doing it ill admit I was over it . As a phase, it came and went for all of them. I just decided it was a developmental thing and possibly related to the fact they were about to go to sleep,maybe had a dream about something related etc. I wouldn't worry about it unless it persists.

It's likely to be a trauma response. Can you get her some therapy to help her to cope with it?

Mine spent her whole childhood believing that we were spies and that all adults were spies. She would ask me quite often “are you a spy” - at the time I thought it was a game so I would give her different answers.

Now as a teen she talks about it. She genuinely believed that we were spies. I asked her “were you scared of us” she said “At first I was, but then I thought all adults were spies for their children”

Super weird. I’m not sure if she thought we went into ninja mode when she slept but it sounds like it’s a phase.

The ages between 5 and 9 tends to be super weird in my opinion.

I can remember thinking I'd been adopted, that I didn't belong with my family. I remember asking my mum why she was telling me off when I was nothing to do with her. I was nine at the time.

I remember thinking this about my mum at a similar age, although I was too scared to ever question her about it. It also happened mostly at bedtime, so I wonder if there is an element of dreaming kicking in before you’re properly asleep. I also suffered trauma as a child but I’ve never had any sort of psychosis.

My dd used to have night terrors in which she would push me away and scream that she wanted her real mummy. It was awful. I feel for you OP.

Think it’s a developmental stage op - at some point my kids have realised there’s a difference between reality and imagination - they used to ask me ‘ is this real’ and ‘ Am I in a story right now ‘ - bedtime is a witching hour for many children with their subconscious kicking in.. don’t worry sounds fine x

I remember going through this phase asain small child, because of something I'd seen on TV! My mum said it is her, then ignored me. Best way really. My youngest did the same thing too!

Whew, so maybe not wildly unusual behaviour! Poor DD, she seems quite upset by it, but maybe it's a normal part of sorting out fact from fiction.

I remember thinking things like this as a child. I had weird kind of nightmares but I was awake in them that involved a kind of shape shifting baddie who was trying to get me and would infiltrate family members and hide around the house in cupboards etc and whisper in my ear. It was so realistic I found it really scary.

I remember thinking that my parents were witches, and when I went to bed and could hear pots and pans and things clanking around downstairs that's when they were cooking up potions in their cauldron. Rather than cooking a late dinner or doing the washing up!

Mind you I also thought there was an Egyptian style scary mummy hiding in my wardrobe, and I swore I could see creepy faces in the patterned flowery wallpaper in the landing, even until I was a teenager I would quickly skip past my parents' bedroom door if it was open and dark in there in case monsters got me. Some kids have over-active imaginations, I'm fine now!

I remember being convinced that I’d died aged on my 8th birthday and everything that was happening to me after that wasn’t real. Children do have some crazy thoughts.