Leaving a letter for kids in case something bad ever happens

[Behonest32]

I know this may sound strange. I have been thinking for some time that if I died tomorrow unexpectedly, I'd love my children to be able to have a letter each, telling them how much I love them, how proud I am of them and how much I love being their mum. The joy they have bought to my life.

I thought maybe I could leave the letters with my mum but I'm concerned she would read them out of curiosity! She may think I have plans and cause concern - just to put it out there, there is no sinister reason behind my thoughts!

Is this really strange? If you think it's not, how can I do it and ensure nobody was to read them?

Put them in with your will?

As pp leave them with your will or if you already have one in the envelope

I don't think that's strange at all, in fact I am in the process of doing similar. I am going to tell a friend where the letter is and when to pass it on to my boys.

It is likely not to happen suddenly, but should it, I want the peace of mind to know that I've already said goodbye. And I know that it will bring comfort to the boys.

I am thinking of updating every 5 to ten years as the things I want to say now might not be the same as the things I want to say when they're adults.

I think it's a bit odd.
Let them know how you feel now, so that should anything ever happen there will be no doubt in their mind how loved they were. No need for a letter to tell them something they know.

Why don't you just tell them you love them/are proud of them etc. then they'll know.

I’ve already done this. My eldest son has the letter x

Oh I do - they know they are loved.
I just thought of something that they can have and read upon finding out such tragic and traumatic news.

As for others saying about a will, I wanted to perhaps change the letters depending on time that passes, for example if my children become parents of their own, or Job accomplishments.

I know it is a little odd, I guess I'm having some anxiety that anything could happen tomorrow and it would be so devastating for them. Maybe impact their lives terribly into adulthood and maybe it might support them through that.

As someone who lost my dad suddenly, I would of loved a letter from him

since the birth of my second ( following lots of miscarriages and my husband having cancer ) it has triggered health / death anxiety for me so I have written my children a Letter each which I will probably end up putting with my will .

Exactly this. Just about being prepared and some way of saying goodbye if the unthinkable was to happen!

This was my thinking. Imagine having that letter - it would be a comfort for them.

So sorry for your loss!

My mum has done this and it is on her jewellery box. I have not done one yet.

I set up an email address for each of my kids when they were born. I send them emails every now and again(usually around Xmas, birthdays, end of school year) telling them about life, what they're up to at that particular stage, how much I love them etc. My hope is that when they're adults I'll give them the password and they'll have a little history of their childhood. DH has the passwords etc but I should really include them in our wills in case something happened to us both together.

I also have an email address for ds. I have been sending him emails since he was born with my favourite photos of him and wee memories and moments that I think he'd like to hear about if we're not there to tell him about when he's older. Dh and I both have the password. But we also need to include them in our wills so ds can access it when he wants.

I have letters like these in my "death folder" which also contains important info like account numbers, passwords etc

My mum did this. She died about 10 years later. My dad gave them to us a few days after she died. I still have it. I think it’s lovely.

Why does possibly wanting to update them over time mean that you can’t put them with your Will? Surely you might also change your Will and even if you don’t, you can just remove the letters at any point and replace them with newer ones?

It's not strange at all, I think it's a lovely idea. I've got a letters to my baby journal for both of my babies. I try to write in them often and try to put pictures in then too. So it's not quite a single letter but rather their childhood from my perspective over the years, but they contain similar to what you mention you want to include in your letters. If you went down this route, you could maybe leave something with your will to let them know where to find them or tell your Mum where the journals are kept in your home but they stay with you essentially x