Angry family member

[YourJollySwan]

Hello im after a bit of advice, my sister who is 28 im 33 we both have 2 girls same age so our children are such good friends, we do everything together, we live a street away so our kids are always out playing. My sister os a very hot headed person, always screaming and shouting effing and blinding, me im the exact opposite, her children love coming to my house and me visiting, Anyway my 9 year old daughter came to me and said she is really scared of my sister so i told that her aunty loves her and she would never hurt her but I'll sort it.
I called my sister and said hey pop round for 5, she did. I said my daughter came to me and said she is scared of you her forst words were well why? I said you are always shouting and angry and its made her feel this way, she said well im not walking on egg shells around your daughter so keep her away from me.... I said well if you cant act accordingly and not make my kid feel scared then ok. She has blocked me off everything, wont let her daughters come to play now and is saying that her feelings are hurt, this was 10 days ago now, what should i do? Thanks for reading x

To her children this is so normal, they seem desensitised from screaming and shouting, this is not normal in my house. She is a single mum, 2 different dads, one of which is not on the scene and another living in a different city which she visits each week, they both are pretty crap together.
Still no contact, we just miss the kids x

You are completely right. She is 100% playing the victim

Her poor kids are in that abusive environment

Verbal abuse is abuse. Making the excuse that's the way she is and the kids are desensitised to it is poor form. Your own daughter is scared of this woman. Get social services involved for your nieces.

Sadly nothing you can do. I have a sister like this (due to some trauma some years back and also personality trait) . I tried (gently) addressing it and asked if she was managing ok,been blocked for almost a year now. Tried sending emails, birthday cards and send nieces and nephews bday and Xmas gifts but hear nothing back. Sad to not see your sister and nieces but there is just nothing you can do . I ended up calling SS as worried for my sisters kids mental health and emotional well-being; but it just ended up making things worse and they were not helpful at all so I would tread carefully

Yes I agree with others this is a form of abuse. My sister use to scream and yell at her children. She would treat them so badly trowing things at them and such we ended up having to take her to court where their dad got custody over them. I don't get to see them much but I know they are in a better situation. Don't let your sisters children be abused like that do something about it. Sounds like she needs some anger management if she is mad all the time.

you Say you love the kids but then you are ok with them living like this? Desensitised to verbal abuse and rage ? Can you please stop pretending those children aren’t effected by your sister explosive behaviour?

This happens up and down the country, doesn’t make it right but what do you think can be done? SS will not get involved because a parent shouts a lot around there kids!

Children and clean and dressed, well fed, go 2 school but i call the social services because their mum swears and shouts and scares my kid.........

I mean honestly lets be realistic wtf will the social services do? She doesn't beat her kids she screams, hi? Why are you calling today? Oh my sister really shouts at her kids and its scaring my kids! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA jesus woman! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Your sister is abusing everyone around her, including her own children and it’s taken your young dd to point this out to you??

Good for you! You sound like a great mum. I’m impressed. Just leave your sister to stew. You were asking for something completely reasonable.

Into their selves or walking on eggshells around their mother

Thank you for all your advice, it has been much needed. Still no contact. I cant delete thread, but it will ne going into another category. Have a nice day. Bye ladies xox

She will
be back when she wants something eg childcare so let her go. Your kids doesn’t like
going there so it’s a win. Sucks her kids can’t come to you but if you see them then let them
know your door is always open for them

Hello ladies, update on the drama. She told our mum her children are not allowed to my house because why would she let her children be somewhere were she is so 'ill thought of' and my mum said im being silly and im causing a family feud... 🙄🙄🙄

Or you could speak to your sister , like harassing her , asking for help from her husband or family …. Those kids have nobody else .
its adult like you that allow bad things to happen to children , the lazy ones that thing “ tHeY ArE gOnNa bE fiNe” . Breaking news : they won’t . But considering you had to ask to other people if it was ok not to send your child in a house were people shout at them … makes sense

What a shocking thing to say to someone, people everywhere shout at their kids! What do you want her to do?