Is it ever OK to have a lazy weekend and not stimulate your dc in any way shape or form?

[Feelingbetterslowly]

This weekend was dd and my first weekend at home since xmas. (V long and convoluted as to why!). DD (4) wanted to go on an open topped sightseeing bus and go to the dinosaur museum. Great weekend I thought.
Yesterday was bus day-have had a v stressful time for the past few weeks so feel sick now when I even look at food, so we went to a restaurant for lunch to try and get something down me. Torrential rain and hail then ensues, so we hot foot it home and don't leave the house again. I do housework as house hasn't been cleaned properly (except for weekday "keep on top of it" cleans) since before xmas-and still isn't any better now!. Dd watches Charlottes Web. We make biscuits, fall out, dd has bath, goes to bed.
Today is dino and bus day. Day starts with snow-no bus. Have lunch, weather brightens, go to the park for a bit to get rid of dd's energy before riding on bus. I get severe stomach cramps within 5 mins, tell her we must leave the park NOW, dd in floods of tears as she has probs stopping things if she hasn't done it the way she always does, i.e. has to go on everything in a certain order. I spend rest of afternoon in the bathroom, dd has tea, goes to bed, the end.
I feel dreadful, this is not the weekend I had envisaged and we will not have another weekend at home now for another month at least. Is there anything I can do to make up for it?

Don't be daft.
It sounds lovely and relaxing (apart from your sickness)
i KNOW MY CHILDREN LIKE IT BEST WHEN i AM JUST THERE WITH THEM,DON'T HAVE TO BE DOING MAD IMPROVING ACTIVITIES.

My parents taught me the best lesson I ever learned or will learn: how to entertain myself.

Of course it is!

Hell, back when I was a kid, we were out the door playing as soon as we'd bolted some breakfast in the morning when school was out. Only to return for lunch and be dragged in by the hair at teatime.

Nothing wrong with having chilled out time. There is also nothing wrong with your DC learning that sometimes people are not well and therefore can't do stuff.
DOn't know what's wrong with you FBS but hope it gets better soon. Have you seen a doctor?

Yes,enteratining self is hugely important.
In my work I see tonnes of kids who have no idea what to do when left to own devices.

Not a problem at all.

Children need to learn how to occupy and entertain themselves.

It's the best way imho

We did nothing today. Just all hung around the house. At one point DH and I were having a cuddle on the sofa while the children pottered around playing by themselves...
until i noticed the 3 year old had put the 10 month old in a cardboard box and was rolling it across the living room floor.
Time to start paying attention.

My god woman! Stop feeling guilty. I have tried stimulating activities like aforesaid museum, and then asked "What was the best bit of today?"

Only to be told "Getting the bus" (!!!)

They gain entertainment in a totally different way to how we think.

The snow itself was probably enough novelty and excitement for them.

Every so often we have a 'lazy day', which means nobody has to dress unless they want to. The LOs love it - especially going into the garden in their pjs. We rearely do anything constructive or stimulating on lazy days, just let things flow. It's nice.

Also, if you're not permanently entertaining and stimulating their minds, they learn to entertain themselves. I firmly believe in constructive ignoring, and the result is that my LOs rarely say "I'm bored, what shall I do?".

Dragon, we did far worse than that out in the back garden whilst Mama was inside working away.

We stopped saying 'I'm bored' early on to my dad.

Because the usual response we got was 'Only boring people are bored.'

Thank you all you wonderful women-I felt bad because I saw all these families trailing past our house at tea time with worn out children who had obviously had full on days and felt like bad mummy no 1! It's just stress I think with the tum-have exams in 6 weeks that I'm WELL under prepared for and in danger of failing and getting kicked out for, and my mum's just died so I'm trying to do probate at the same time, so dd has been shoved on the back burner for a while poor thing! Have just found the most amazing pics of me on post it notes stuck all over my bedroom-I have legs up to my ears and a huge smile-I love it when they do things that completely re-affirm why you had them! Is it ever ok to spend the whole weekend saying "just a minute, I'll get to you in a second, just hang on a minute, hang on, JUST WAIT-CAN'T YOU SEE I'M DOING SOMETHING? I SAID I'D BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE!!!" too? Does it teach them patience?

Yes it does, but be prepared for them to say 'just a minute, i'm doing something special and important' when you ask them up to the table for lunch.

Poor you,you sound as if you are still poorly.You HAVE stimulated your dc,gone to restaurant,made biscuits,gone to park.You can't do it all if you are ill and weather is crap.If its any consolation you have done a great deal more than I have with my 2 this weekend.Their daddy is in hospital so we have no vehicle available.

Yesterday all we did was some cooking together,read a few books,I left ds watching c-beebies while I did housework and we did dds walking exercises (she has sn).We had a long walk to shops (ds on bike) and that was about it.

Today ds was in front of tv again (guilt guilt guilt)I did more walking with dd and some of her portage exercises.Then they both did some drawing at the table,while I ironed,then came in the kitchen with me while I cooked.Then we all shared a nice splashy bubblebath and had tea and they watched tv while I washed up.RThen we had bedtime and stories and thatw as about it really.

I have felt guilty as we did not much at all but sometimes life is like that.You cannot go full tilt,especially if you are poorly, all the time.and ds and I had several arguments mainly involving me not allowing him any more chocolate(he is 4 going on 13)There,I didn't even manage to get out the house todayHope this makes you feel better-SIGNING OFF,CRAP MUM WRINKLY

He he he, will be so proud of her when she is doing something special and important instead of tripping me up 24/7 , but then I will be wishing she was tripping me up 24/7! I love all you mumsnet ladies, you always brighten a girl's day/evening/night! xx

God if I am ill, the kids take a back seat. With what is going on in your life, you deserve to go easy on yourself. You can't do everything.

I think it is a good thing that the kids realise they cannot always be centre of attention and have what they want when they want it.

After going out in the snow, I got snow blindness (long story, laser eye treatment) and spent most of the rest of the day half asleep on the sofa, while the girls pottered around.

I am perfecting my own style of no-guilt parenting.

Wrinkly-that weekend sounds amazing-really homely. Ours never seem homely if we do things like that, just fraught!

Mums in general-Do you ever look at everyone else's families and think that they always seem to be doing it just right no matter what they do, whether they go out or stay in, and yet you always seem to be floundering and not having a clue? He he

Now the key to coping wiht seeing 'perfect' mums is to say to yourself "She's probably wearing yesterday's knickers". That puts it into perspective for me! After all, you can only guess from what you see - who knows what her life is really like.

Oh my god did you really have laser eye treatment? Oh god I feel so thick now-I thought you meant you had laser eye treatment after the snow blindness, but now I read it as you got the snow blindness because you've had the treatment .

I slunk off to bed at 4pm too, and woke up to dd actually (tentatively) standing on my head with one foot, william the conqueror style! When asked what on earth she was doing she said that I always tell grandad that she woke me up this morning by jumping on my head , must watch what I say for my own safety now!

By the way,am considering getting "In a minute" tatooed on my forehead or alternatively recording myself saying it played on a loop alongside "Please don't jump off the setee onto your sister" and "No you can't have any more chocolate until after tea".

I actually think that it NOT good to plan loads of stuff in the weekend.

Kids need time to just chill, and like everyone has said, to self entertain.

My friend has a prob with immaculate familes (she has two dd's not one, and a dh, so has no prob with my perfect family of me and the dd-ster-ha ha-I'm in cyber space, I can pretend!!), so I always tell her that the entire day is spent making the family immaculate and nothing else is achieved in their family life ever, be it talking to each other or painting or even eating as they are not allowed to spill! She has two run-riotous children, one of whom will listen to no one but me because I am "the only one that will shout at her properly" (), will tell her the knicker story tomorrow-she will appreciate that!

In a minute should be the official mother's catchphrase!

Argh, my leg is numb and my throat is dry, back in a mo (need juice, not alcohol, that sounded alcohol-related! Although I do have some vintage Schloer in the fridge!)

Good grief i hope so