Is the over 35 female and over 40 male combo that bad?

[cloudandsunshineonly]

I have posted on parenting with the hopes of parents that have children already will respond.

I am 36, 37 in 6 months other half has just turned 41.

As we know that with age risks with babies, conception and pregnancies increase, but particularly so when the above age combo I.e if my husband was 37 it would be a lot better or if I was 32 and so on.

Wanted your thoughts and experiences please.

www.babycentre.co.uk/a564598/dads-to-be-how-your-age-can-affect-your-fertility-and-your-babys-health

I conceived DD easily with no charting, testing etc and only irregular sex. I was almost 41 and DH almost 46.

I had two children from 38 to 42. But.. I'm not you. Every person will have been dealt a different hand in terms of fertility. What I will say is that if you feel that your partner will be a good co-parent and that he will have your back, and you his, then you should go for it and play your hand. Don't worry about statistics and scare-mongering articles, because 9 times out of 10 they are click bait and they aren't serious information you need to be basing decisions on.

Good luck!

I was 40, partner 41. Healthy pregnancy and baby. I know of several couple where both partners were in their 40s - all healthy children.

That doesn't mean that age doesn't increase risk, but it's important to understand the difference between relative risk and absolute risk. Put simply, older parents are at increased risk of some adverse outcomes but the vast majority of older parents have healthy children. Parental lifestyle is also very important in increasing chance of conception and a healthy pregnancy and baby - all the 40 something parents I mentioned above were fit and healthy, not overweight, non smokers and educated in terms of knowing importance of pre-pregnancy folic acid, vitamin D etc.

I couldn't have conceived at your age and DH couldn't have fathered a child at any age! We adopted

I was 36 when I conceived first time trying, husband was 53.

Do you mean in terms of fertility or risk of Down's syndrome/autism ?

I was 39, OH 43 when DS was born, no issues so far!

There is an increase in children with autism or other issues if the father is above 40 but I know a few who have had children no problem.

It's not so simple as age means this or that.

It's very individual on this front. Yes age is a factor for some but not for all, there are plenty of older couples/parents having children with no issues and there are younger having issues.
My 1st I was 21 and last 37, dh is 2 years younger. Conceiving no harder older, miscarriage risk no worse (had 3 mc's in 20's & 2 in 30's). The term pregnancies were no harder on me older, I was doing heavy weightlifting until over 35 weeks with my youngest.

Yes the latter

Just to counter balance I conceived 5 times between the age of 36 and 41 on the first attempt, and once on the second. DH 4 years older. My weight was around 14 stone throughout. Not especially active. 4 miscarriages out of these. Turned out I had a clotting disorder so no amount of exercise, or being in the ‘good’ bmi range or turning back the clock to my 20s would have made a difference because my blood would still clump and clog tiny blood vessels.

Agree that risks increase but risks are just risks, it doesn’t mean something bad will happen.

I had NIPT both successful pregnancies (aged 38 and 41). My OB recommended it as it would offer a more accurate response than the NHS triple test due to my age.

I had 5mg folic acid as my BMI was over 35. My GP didn’t know this was a thing so if you are also then make sure you ask.

You will probably be advised to take aspirin as it’s recommended for over 35s now - make sure you do. Take it at night as it’s most effective then.

good luck!