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Parenting

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Original poster

Adventure playgrounds and leaving children without their parents

111 replies

ReallyTired · 06/04/2008 21:47

Our local authority has 4 adventure playgrounds. They are fenced and run by playworkers. They have fanastic facilites, appartus for climbing, painting activites, lots of toys, dens to play in and programme of activites for the children in the school holidays.

It is completely free and you can leave your children there to be looked after by playworkers provided they are between the ages of 6 and 12. The idea is that the children can gain in independence and get the advantages of playing out on the street without the dangers.

I think its brilliant, but a friend of mine accused me of being a bad parent. She thinks its child neglet not to stay with your child even if the child is 12 years old because the children are able to walk out the playground if they choose to.

My son loves playing with his friends and I think its better for him than watching TV. He is six years old, but a very sensible 6 year old. I am confident that I trust him not to leave the playground without me.

OP posts:

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FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 09:41

But Kerry, if you think he'll leave a place by himself if he sees something interesting, despite having been told not to by you, what is to stop him bolting out the front door while you are upstairs or something?

or are your doors locked also?

FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 09:42

Cross posts with my last post there

Where did anyone say there was something wrong with locking your doors?

KerryMum · 07/04/2008 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 09:46

ye-es

not quite sure what you are getting at
I can't quite see the part of my post where I said this was wrong and no-one should do it?

nappyaddict · 07/04/2008 12:40

your post seemed to make out that this was an unusual set up.

pooka · 07/04/2008 14:50

I never lock my doors when I'm at home. I don't know whether that is unusual, but I suppose just as others feel concerned at people getting in or their child escaping, I'm concerned that we wouldn't be able to get out if we needed to, or that emergency services wouldn't be able to get in.
Saying that, my mother was always staggeringly laissez faire about home security, so I suppose it rubbed off on me.
It truly would not occur to dd, aged 4 nearly 5, to open the front door and go out. Hopefully the same will be true of ds. They both seem to have the idea that they can't open doors that are shut, though not locked. So they always ask me to open the back door for example.

nappyaddict · 07/04/2008 14:52

emergency services wouldn't be able to get in many houses if you have the sort of door that automatically closes when you shut the door behind you. i am guessing they would just kick the door in.

justabouttohavelunch · 07/04/2008 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 16:12

Oh yes nappyaddict I was surprised about it! I hadn't come across it before, so it was good that you explained about having the doors locked - I didn't know people did that

I don't know if this means it is an unusual set up or not - just that it was new to me

and as I said, I can see if that is your set up at home then it would be a strange / scary thought that the children at the play area could just walk out if they wanted to

FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 16:19

I realise I sound really sheltered btw
it just would never occur to me to lock my door when I am at home
but I know people's circumstances are different

getmeouttahere · 07/04/2008 16:20

MY children are 8 and 12. I would be OK leaving them at this kind of set-up. However, I would be "on pins" about the younger one as he has no road sense and is relatively "untested" in that so far he is not allowed out of the house/garden without me or DH. I assume he would not leave but not 100% convinced until I tried it.

For me, this is a no-no for children under 8.

We do keep our doors locked when inside the house. This is only because there has been a spate of crimes round here where car thieves see a nice car on the drive and have just been walking into houses while peeps were watching TV or whatever and demanding car keys. We live close to a motorway junction and apparently they target areas like this.

Younger DC is not allowed to answer the door/phone.

Sorry, getting a bit off topic there

FrannyandZooey · 07/04/2008 16:22

well I am sorry too, as I started it, it is off topic but it is interesting to me

I think I will start another thread on it

getmeouttahere · 07/04/2008 16:33

Good idea

Original poster

ReallyTired · 07/04/2008 17:52

This is where the adventure playgrounds are. They are staffed by mature women who are very good at managing children's behaviour and helping young people develop.

My son absolutely loved it and is keen to go again. I fail to see how it is different to a child playing in a cul de sac. I live very close to the playground. Its not as if I am using it as free daycare.

With more and more children being only children I think there needs to be a chance to socialise and develop a seperate identity to mummy. Every parent has to assess the maturity of their child. Some are ready for an adventure playground at six years old where as others are not ready at eight years old. I also think the child has to WANT to go to the adventure playground.

OP posts:

misdee · 07/04/2008 18:09

looks good really tired

not sure i could trust dd2 to go to that sort of place as she is only 5 anyway, but dd1 would love it. and is very aware of waiting for a grown-up. she has started asking if she can walk to school on her own, next school year, i have agreed for her to go ahead once we cross the main road, and walk down with her friends and cross over with the lollipop lady. she will be in my line of vision all the time as its a straight road and i can see from the top of the road to the lollipop lady.

RubberDuck · 07/04/2008 18:13

Sounds fantastic. I'd trust my almost 7 year old, no question. But then he's played out the front for a couple of years with only me checking on him every few minutes (he's with other, older children... knows he has to stay in a very strict area and are in a quiet cul-de-sac).

Our front door locks so someone outside can get in but anyone inside can get out. I used to lock it properly for a brief period when ds2 was 18mths-2yrs but don't now - neither of them (ds2 is now almost 4) escape.

I'm surprised that other 6/7 year olds would escape (especially after having a couple of years in a school environment), but then everyone knows their own child best and needs to assess the risks differently. For us, this scheme sounds amazing and I wish they had similar here.

RubberDuck · 07/04/2008 18:15

erm ... our front door locks so someone outside CAN'T get in, that should read!

misdee · 07/04/2008 18:16

dd2 is a wanderer. off i na daze most of the time lol.

dd3 is just 3years old and mini-houdini. i keep the top lo9ck on so she cant escape also stops people getting in as you actually have to lock the front door with a key when you go out.

southeastastra · 07/04/2008 18:17

does look good reallytired, near me too. wish they'd open one here, i'd quite like to work in it.

WaxOrNot · 07/04/2008 18:22

This sounds AMAZING!!! I think they'd be popular everywhere.

RedFraggle · 07/04/2008 18:32

I like the idea, but I would not want to totally leave them at the lower end of the age spectrum. I'd probably loiter with a book...
But like Kerrymum I also had experience of flashers and strangers doing the luring thing so maybe I am paranoid.

I lock my front door at all times too so my dd can't wander out into the busy road - never thought of it as an odd thing to do, once you've seen a 2 year old step out of the door, it is just common sense IME

Hulababy · 07/04/2008 19:32

Have always locked my doors when I am at home. Stops people just being able to walk in, inc burglars.

I don't know anyone who leaves their doors unlocked all the time.

Infact locally to my parents it is advised to keep doors locked when in as there have been a spate of opportunist burglars. they test doors, walk in, grab keys and leave - they then take off in a car or come back later with keys in hand.

Hulababy · 07/04/2008 19:35

Emergency services can get in by smashing a window if need be.

Do you leave your doors unlocked at night time? If not, then the same emergency services issue could be argued surely? And I have never known anyone to leave a door unlocked at night!

Original poster

ReallyTired · 07/04/2008 19:39

There is a difference between having a door locked from the outside and locking yourself inside your house. My son could easily walk out of the house if he wanted to, however a stranger would not be able to let themselves in.

I would want my son to be able to escape if there was a fire in our house. I do not spend my entire time in the same room as him. He is also able to open windows, but generally asks first.

I did put the chain across when he was between the ages of 18 months and 24 months though.

Prehaps my son is becoming feral. I am truely amazed by how much he has grown up during the Easter holidays. He is pestering me to let him walk to school on his own. However I am not going to let him do that until juniors.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 07/04/2008 19:44

There is a difference between having a door locked from the outside and locking yourself inside your house.

Not sure I understand.

If I lock my door at home, then it is locked full stop. You would need a key either from inside or outside to be able to get out/in.

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