Hate the term "I can't do that with the kids"

[Bitsandbobs1892]

This is a bit of a rant, and for context I wasn't seriously suggesting OH actually do this but it's irritating that in the same situation I would do it. I'm fully aware I'm being pathetic, I'm due on which I'm sure is a contributing factor here.

We have 3 children 9, 4 and almost 2. Im neck deep in clean washing folding it all and putting it away in my daughters room and OH comes in and says can you come and sit with the kids so I can go to the chip shop. Bare in mind, I said to him not 10 minutes earlier I was going to put the washing away and clean our daughter's room.

I half jokingly asked why he couldn't take the kids with him. He replied that he couldn't possibly take them. It's not impossible, massively inconvenient, yes maybe but he acts as if it simply can't be done.

now this is what winds me up, because on Monday night he went and done some work (he's a tradesman) forgetting our sons swimming lesson, which usually one of us will stay at home with the little ones and the other will take him. I didn't want him to miss out on the job so I didn't mention it and just took all 3 kids with me, which was hardwork because my son was too nervous to go and get changed by himself, so I had to take the double pram through the barrier and into the changing room, then took them all to McDonald's afterwards (which was a bloody nightmare) brought them all home showered them and put them all to bed.

it's just slightly annoying that I am often put in situations that are a 2 person job alone, but I have to get on with it because we have 3 children.

Tricky, but if @Bitsandbobs1892 can take all three children out to swimming etc, it is clearly not impossible, @Sunnysummer24.

He is a parent too, and should be capable of looking after his own children at home or outside. It isn’t rocket science. The two little ones in the double buggy, and the older one walking. Why is the poor little man not capable of this?

HIBU. He should have come and said, “I don’t fancy cooking, gonna go to the chippy, shall I go now and you finish that later whilst I stay handling the kids, or do you want to go and then mind the kids later when I do the laundry?”

it’s the presumption that’s annoying I think!!

Yeah I would be pissed off too. I have 3 kids one an autistic child who can't be left unsupervised. I just have to manage but ex will say he can't have the kids because it can't be done with ds. It's the default that a man can't be expected to do what he doesn't even think about making a woman do that's so irritating

It was worth taking the kids out to the swimming lesson though, because at least one was getting something out of it, and they all got McDonalds afterwards, if she'd have cancelled, there would have been no swimming lesson and no McDonalds., they would have missed out.

It's not worth taking the kids to the chippy because the end result is the same whether you take them or not, they all get to eat chips at home afterwards, all you are doing by taking them is making a simple and quick task into a complete faff and the end result is exactly the same.

If you've got someone at home who can just pause what they're doing for 10 minutes while you nip there and back, it's a no brainer.

He should be taking them out to places on his own though.. just not the local shop/chippy.

I know what you mean OP, my husband came home from work the other day and was looking after our baby while I tidied our bedroom, 5 mins later he came to ask me if I could grab the baby because he was going for a wee and to start cooking tea. I asked him who he thinks “grabs the baby” for me all day while he’s at work when I need a wee or to cook a meal🤣

But he was saying he couldn’t possibly take the children to the chippy with him, @sandyhappypeople, not that it wasn’t worth taking them. It’s the incompetence that is so infuriating.

That's what's so annoying about it, It's not an option for me to pop to chip shop (not that I would during the day) but everywhere I go they tag along, so it's just annoying that when he pops to the shop he gets to do so by himself, even though I am actually busy, I know I could stop but it's not the point

Totally agree! I’m sure they think we have extra arms! X

This sounds more like a problem of him never being alone with them then? Why don't you ever go out on your own when he's at home with them?

Couldn't you have gone to the chippy instead?

Op how do you safely supervise them while you are having your eyebrows done? Surely the dc who hits your toddler has free rein to do that while you are having a beauty treatment?

I have a double buggy and my middle child has a special harness to make sure she can't escape, I'll obviously rather not take them but on the odd occasion I've had to

Is she not hitting the younger child as she is sat next to her?How do you shop? Sounds difficult.

No luckily she hasn't done that yet, if she starts doing that it's gonna make thing much harder, when I say hitting it's more tackling her to the floor than actual hitting

It sounds like he needs more opportunities to be on his own with the 3 dcs so he can learn how to deal with the 3 of them….

I agree with PP that maybe it’s not worth the battle but I’d be fuming at the ‘It’s IMPOSSIBLE to do that’ when actually it is possible, just harder work.

The OP doesn’t want or need suggestions for putting washing away with the children there.

Sometimes it is nice to get on with things uninterrupted. If your partner won’t take the children out alone then you NEVER get this. I sympathise OP. My DH … he’s lovely, he is, but DD is one next month and he has never taken her and her brother out alone. I do it nearly every day. It gets tiring.