Help - DD won't sleep!

[CosmicLove]

My daughter is 18 months and has always been a terrible sleeper. I've definitely made things hard for myself (always feeding/rocking to sleep) and now she's incapable of self-settling. She goes down well and in a heavy sleep but as soon as she wakens (anything between 1-4 hours of going down) it's like a seal has been broken and she then just continuously wakes for the rest of the night. It seems we can never achieve that deep sleep that we had at the start of the night again. Sometimes I'm not even out the room yet and just the noise of me sneaking out has woken her. Or I get out and after 5-10 minutes she's awake again. If I'm lucky she'll sleep for another hour or two before waking, but that's not the norm and the whole night is peppered with wake-ups. It's exhausting.

I should say she has her own room, good temp maintained as far as possible, white noise on. She naps well during the day and I am strict with ensuring she's at home to have a good 2 hours after lunch. Although times when this has not been possible and she's overtired, it doesn't seem to make a difference to the night times - they're awful regardless! We've just completed third night of night weaning and she's coping surprisingly well with no BF overnight.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? Any thoughts or advice would be so welcome and appreciated. TIA xx

I make babies like this too! With my eldest I got her a floor bed and she would just potter in to me when she woke in the night and would spend the rest of the night in my bed. I weaned her completely (after night weaning at 18 months) when she dropped her nap just before her second birthday and all of a sudden she started sleeping through in her own bed. I’m not sure if not napping increased the sleep pressure or to do with being completely weaned. Now I have a ten month old who can’t sleep unless we are skin to skin!

@Thumberline thanks so much for replying. Can I ask how old your eldest was when you got the floor bed? We've considered this but thought that she might be a bit young still. I have been co sleeping with her as required (often most nights) for a year and it definitely helped to get some rest. I would just take her into the spare room and she would feed throughout the night and it meant I could get some sleep! I've not done that this week though, as the association with being in bed together is so BF orientated, I thought it would make night weaning much more difficult and distressing. I'm having abdominal surgery tomorrow and won't be able to lift her for a month, so I was hoping with night weaning, she might start sleeping through. I've seen quite a lot of posters on MN saying that but it's not happening for us yet unfortunately! 🙃

@CosmicLove it didn’t happen for us with night weaning but it’s early days for you, maybe something will click. I got her a floor bed at around 15 months and my 10 month old is in one now. My ten month olds is next to my bed and she just pops her head up when she wants me 😂 if it’s a comfort to your little one to sleep with you can you try sleeping with a t-shirt on or something they won’t be able to access your breasts in? This is what I did with my eldest and she got used to not having milk in the night quite quickly.

How are you getting her to sleep at the moment? I used to rock to sleep but that meant whenever DD woke she would need to be rocked to sleep again. Look up onset sleep association. The only way for us was to lay on the floor next to her cot until she worked out how to fall asleep by herself. At first I spent many hours on the floor but it eventually she got it!

@Thumberline yes I've actually been putting on a polo neck each time I go into her overnight the last 3 nights, so she definitely can't get in - it's very fetching! That is very young for the low bed but hey if it works for you then great. I would worry that she might get up in the night and I wouldn't hear on the monitor, and she'd be into the bathroom eating soap or something like that! 😂

@Purplecurtain1 that's really interesting. I've had a quick google and it's exactly the problem. I still feed and/or rock her to sleep so she's always been entirely reliant on me to get her there. She's never been able to do it without help. I will chat to DH and see if we can come up with a planned and consistent approach. I'm not a fan of the cry it out method but maybe being there while she learns, albeit upset, is a happy medium.

Thanks again for your comments ❤️