My 7m old is miserable

[SophNx]

Wondering if anyone can relate and have any wise words?

my baby is 7 months old and basically arrived into the world screaming and has never stopped. I’m a FTM to a 7m girl. I have really struggled with motherhood and constantly feel like I’m failing. my baby is quite a miserable baby and I can’t help but feeling like it’s my fault. At 2m old we was at the GP’s querying milk allergies, reflux etc we tried all sorts and nothing made a difference. We came to the realisation she was just an unhappy newborn and it would get better.

We are now 7 months and she spends 90% of the day crying. I try my best to try and make her happy but majority of the time it’s doesn’t work.

I see other mums with babies the same age saying “my little bestie” or “the best time of
my life” I couldn’t feel more far away from this. I feel like a massive failure and as if I’m doing something wrong I’ve tried getting her to sleep more and do more things with her and nothing seems to please her.

the reason I’m writing this is because I wondered if anyone else went through this?

Hi OP,

Can relate as my son (now 4) screamed a lot. Could it be something medical potentially that isn't very obvious? What is she eating/drinking? Does she sleep well? Just trying to think of things that may help xx

Oh I feel you. My boy is four and a half months and similarly miserable! I’m just waiting, hoping he gets better but honestly I don’t know when/if that will happen.

@Chocpot1986 she drinks and eats fine, started on solids purees now so no trouble there. she sleeps okish, it kind of depends everyday is different. She wakes twice/three times through the night normally but stick her dummy back in she normally goes back off. It’s just she cry’s and is so unhappy most of the day. Wakes up from nearly every sleep crying

@MrsCeecee i feel so much for you. It’s horrible especially when you see other people having the best time. I hope you get there soon x

All of this is much more normal than you think. Could your baby be hungry if she’s not feeding much in the night? Have you tried more milk or food?
in my experience, babies that age don’t actually sleep much during the day, will she settle if you take her in the pram for long walks. Take a sling with you for if she prefers to be upright.
it will get better, you’re not doing anything wrong

I'd still be querying a medical reason. All babies are unhappy at times, but that is a lot. Cmpa and reflux are common causes. Does she have any eczema as that often (but not always) goes hand in hand with allergies?

DS1 was like this. Cried none stop for the first 4-6 months then became very whingey, moany and difficult to please thereafter. Ticked all the boxes for a ‘high needs baby’. Nothing medically wrong with him as far as we could tell.

Hes 4 now. I’m not going to lie, he’s still intense, emotional and demanding. But he’s also extremely bright, interesting, perceptive and popular. It’s so much easier compared to his baby days which were total hell.

It got better with every developmental milestone. Walking and then talking made a huge difference.

I’ve got DC2 now who is nearly a year old and not like this at all. He has his moments but generally he’s easy going and content. The difference is staggering. You are not imagining how hard she is.

I had a very unhappy baby. Nearly broke me. Luckily she was my second so I knew it wasn't 'me'. First one was a dream - although at the time I smugly thought it was my parenting :)

She's just very very gradually got happier - she's approaching two and I would say is happy most of the day although is still extremely sensitive with a very short fuse and tendency to be dramatic. I think by the time she is talking she will be even better - she just hasn't enjoyed being a baby.

My first DS was like this, I was happy going back to work when baby was 5 months old to work my notice after being made redundant. The only time he seemed content was walking him in the pushchair, sometimes we’d go out 4 times a day, he loved looking up at the trees. He was a serious minded toddler, laughter became more easier once he was about 2.

My stepson was apparently like this (I didn’t meet him until years after) - some babies just really don’t enjoy being babies! The overstimulation, the lack of control, the frustration of not being able to move or reach things for yourself. He’s nearly a teenager now and still an independent, strong-willed, highly focused child with a lovely personality - he’s just much happier now he has some agency in the world!