My eldest is 4.5 and seems to be in a phase for a few months now of really horrible tantrums. We had this at 2.5 till 3 and she’s always been a bit ‘reactive’ but things had calmed down. I’m really struggling with it and I consider myself a patient person but from dusk till dawn it’s whinging, screaming, complaining. This morning before I’d opened my eyes she screamed at me because we didn’t have a certain breakfast she wanted, that she hasn’t asked for in ages. It immediately makes me tense and I feel like we’re stuck in a vicious circle of me being tense around her and anticipating the screaming and then getting probably more wound up by it / making her less secure and things worse.
In only work 2 days per week so she gets lots of attention and time with me. I have a 2 year old also so admittedly there’s not much one on one time and that’s something I need to improve although she gets on great with her sister. She’s very excited to start school but I’m wondering if it’s still a stress / causing her to act out even if it’s a positive stress.
I feel guilty saying this but at the moment I don’t enjoy her company a lot of the time as she just screams at me all day…it’s always 0-60 she’s never just slightly annoyed! I misheard what hair style she wanted and instead of telling me it’s Wrong she screamed and sobbed and threw herself on the floor, same with asking to put socks on. She is happy inbetween these episodes but they’re very frequent (I’d say something at least every hour).
Ive practised attachment parenting but just don’t know how to handle this properly. I try being empathetic and acknowledging her feelings but as the day goes on I probably get more 80s parent and don’t shout at her but end up ignoring her as I just can’t deal with it and need to switch off from it so I don’t get angry. I don’t ignore her if she tries to make up or speak to me but I ignore the screams I mean …nothing seems to be working. She’s a lovely little girl but just seems to have been possessed the last few months. She’s been waking a lot earlier With the light mornings so wondering if she’s shattered too
anyone else relate?! What do you do?
meal times also a massive source of stress…I do ‘picky plates’ every night which include pudding on the plate as well as all other food groups but it still causes screaming