Teaching 7 year old dd to have good self confidence

[greenfeather]

Really interested to hear from others about how you go about guiding your kids, especially girls, towards having good self confidence. It's something I lack a bit of and would love my dd to have a lot of. She's just told me a story about how she did a silly dare at school because her friends told her to and she was worried they wouldn't like her if she didn't. It was unhygienic and a silly thing to do and now she feels bad. Part of me thinks it was kids being kids but part of me worries what this becomes later. Wondering how others would approach it and teaching self respect, confidence and saying no in general.

i've never tried explicitly teaching self confidence. rather, I try to model it in daily life. So I praise positive things, ignore negative things and give DD choices in contexts where she can make sensible choices.

and yes, sometimes kids make bad decisions, but recognizing that is silly and deciding to tell you is a good decision so you can praise that.

if you are specifically worried about bad influences from peers, then read books / watch TV shows where a kid resists a bad influence. I'm sure others can suggest some.

Thanks @parietal. I'm worried I don't model self-confidence enough as I lack it a bit and really would love her to grow up knowing her own value and feeling empowered to say no and not feel like she has to people please, something I've suffered from. Getting better as I get older. I do try the praising positive things. I was trying to think of a film about resisting bad influences, I'll give it a google.

bumping

My eldest definitely lacks self confidence, and I don't know why as both DH and I had careers customer facing! From an early age I encouraged her to eg if she wanted sweets I'd give her the money and get her to ask.

In hindsight I think I should have enrolled her for drama when she'd started school as some other girls she was friendly with went, they are both very confident girls. I'm sure it's given them techniques to handle themselves in situations they might feel anxious.

I talk to my DDs about all sorts of things but one I have tried to emphasise is being your own best friend i.e. not saying unkind things to yourself and routing for yourself. I think it's useful for my daughters...and me!

Thanks @Ariela, that's a good tip re drama. I'm sorry your DC lacks self-confidence - it could just be an age thing perhaps? DD is confident in some respects but she often says to me at the moment that someone asked her do something and she's scared that if she doesn't do it they won't like her. I don't really know where it comes from and it worries me that she feels she has to seek permission from friends to do something. I tell her that she's in charge of herself and she decides what she can and can't do and if something makes her uncomfortable to say no. But she is anxious about what it will mean.

@Scribblydoo - I really like the phrase you are your own best friend and will definitely use that.