Feeling so guilty

[ellyfb]

I am a SAHM to my 1 year old girl. A few nights ago I was getting really frustrated with her not going to sleep. I'd been rocking her for a while and I said out loud "if I could go back 2 years to when I had my freedom and I could do what I want, when I want, I would"
I haven't been able to stop thinking about what I said because I wouldn't want to go back 2 years at all, I love having my little girl and the thought of life without her feels empty. I just feel so guilty for saying it, I know she can't understand what I'm saying but I feel horrible for even thinking it.
Why did I think this? Is there something the matter with me? Do other mums ever feel like this or think these horrible things?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. The first few years are a slog (but still with lovely bits). It then just gets different. At the beginning most of us feel like that some of the time. I'm now at the other end and my youngest is now 17 and we were talking about how sweet he was - completely forgetting now all the hard bit. He used to get up at 5 o'clock every day!! For years.

Thank you - appreciate the reassurance ❤️

It's totally normal to have thoughts like this when you are tired and frustrated. I've said it many times and I'm always SO cross with myself because it's not what I truly think or know where it comes from. It really does come from the spur of the moment of exhaustion. I love my DC to bits and would never be without, but equally I do remember the days when life was simple and there was no crying babies and sleepless nights! ❤️

Don't beat yourself up about it hun, we all go through this I have done soo many times I've said things I've instantly regretted due to frustration and basically at the boiling point. I have 4 kids and do it alone I've sat and thought wish I could go back but in reality I would be lost with out any of them (even if they will turn me grey before I'm 40) jokes aside though hun. It's ok to think like that some times hun.

Thanks for the replies, it helps knowing you're not alone.

I have teenagers and DH and I say this to each other every day...seriously don't stress it.