Age appropriate responsibilities

[DS90]

My son is 4.5y old and I am wondering what are other responsibilities, that are appropriate for 4-5 year old children. So far my son feeds his pet fishes, puts away his dirty clothes and durty dishes, puts away his toys and folds and puts away his pijama in the morning.

Seems like plenty for a 5 year old.

Why do you want to add more responsibilities onto him?

My nearly 5 year old does the above but set the cutlery on the table, puts her water bottle in her bag. Occassional she helps sort laundry and puts hers away, dust, use the hand held hoover and if she is really lucky use the spray mop. Generally just helps with stuff the adults are doing.

Not necessarily add more responsibilities.My idea is not to make him do too mush stuff around the house, but more like teaching him that he is able and can do some things by himself. There are some (pretty normal to me) things that he refuses to do, because he thinks he won't be able to or because it's easier someones else to do them for him.Example- 99% ot the time he refuses to hold his own sandwich, burger, etc. and insists that I hold it for him, because he "can't hold it so that his hands won't get dirty", he doesn't care that there's always a napkin and most of the time he can easily just go and wash his hands

Then I would offer him the choice a knife and fork or waiting until you had finished eating and were free to help him.

Similar responsibilities here- dirty clothes in laundry, pull back bedcovers in the morning, plate in the dishwasher sort of thing.

I personally wouldn’t indulge the hold my burger or sandwich nonsense, in fact I’d probably not serve either at home and refuse to order them in a restaurant unless they promised to eat it themselves and I’d hold firm and not give in. And tbh I think that sounds like either sensory thing or maybe even an attention seeking, dictating the narrative thing, both of course really common in young kids, but totally unrelated to household chores or responsibility. So I would deal with the fussy sandwich eating/not wanting mucky hands however you think is best, because know your own kid, but I wouldn’t conflate the 2.

Chores sound great - you could add in something like helping to set the table, helping to put the shopping away? I agree that doing chores gives children confidence.

The burger thing sounds different- not that he doubts his ability to hold a burger more like he just dislikes doing it. I wonder whether he got messy with one once and was put off. A lot of burgers in restaurants are too big for an adult to manage with style, never mind a 5yo.

I would suggest he orders something else or uses a knife and fork, and at home you can make them manageable so that he can eat it himself. I wouldn't be a sort of human burger clamp.

Sounds reasonable to me, you could let your child get their own breakfast also.
You ideally want to instill an attitude to family jobs and self care rather than a list of jobs, in the long term.
With our 4.5 year old, it varies a lot day to day on what he can manage, so there's a large element of watching him carefully to decide what's reasonable, and pushing him more or less.
So eg some days he can load all his stuff into the dishwasher and wipe up before going to the toilet and getting ready for bed, and some days he can only eat, get down, and needs help getting dressed into his pyjamas.
I would say offer the chance to do other things eg folding clothes, shopping for food is another good one (when you have plenty of time to support) as well as making simple dishes. This can also help if your child is a "fussy" eater.
Spring cleaning is a good one too,eg moving their bed together, vacuuming or wiping, etc etc.
Gardening can be a good one depending on how safe they are with the tools eg trowels are ok for weeding and planting but I wouldn't give them loppers!
Good luck

My almost 6 year old loves to help! He often will empty the dishwasher, runs the hoover round, tidies his room etc. We also have a horse so he mucks out, grooms, fills buckets, feeds etc.
He will make a fabulous partner one day!