Am I a bad mum for this

[spiannn]

2.5 yo DS woke at 5 this morning, it felt quite early when I’ve been up with our 6mo in the night. I haven’t had a full night sleep since our youngest was born so I’m really tired atm (I’m ebf too so DH can’t do night feeds)

I got him in our bed and I checked the time when I opened my eyes it’d been about 45 mins- 1 hour

when I got him in he was excited for cuddles he said and we were cuddling , even though I’m tired I would wake for him chatting to me so he was quiet / silent

he he would’ve just went back asleep wouldn’t he?

im worried he sat there while I slept thinking mummy ignoring me :( I wracked with guilt I just need to go down in future when he wakes

hes been fine with me he said he loved our cuddles but I feel guilty I hope he had a little sleep when I did and wasn’t sitting awake

Omg total non issue

Eh? He’s 2.5. He would have let you know and probably loudly if he didn’t want to lie in bed with you. If he was quiet it means he was fine and happy.

As long as he was safe it won’t have mattered even if he was awake. He would have let you know if he was unhappy.

If your child is waking at 5 am it is totally fine to expect them to lie quietly in bed with you / try to get back to sleep. There is nothing to feel bad about here.

What?

It's fine whether he was asleep or awake.

Unlikely he was awake and quiet, but even so, so what? He needs to know that 5am is sleep time and he needs to sleep or at least be quiet. Watching you sleep would have reinforced that. What are you worried about?

As long as he was safe, it’s a non issue.

Sorry I’ve just got lots of guilt since having our youngest and I thought did he just think mummy’s not giving me attention and he felt lonely or sad

but in the past when he’s got in and wants to get out I know as he taps me and shouts🤣 so he definitely would’ve let me know

snd even though I’m tired I still woke slightly when he turned over to his dad then back to me etc so I woke with his movement I would’ve woke if he spoke etc

@spiannn

You've just answered your own questions?

I know my question was more what if he was awake silent thinking mummy’s not giving me attention

id be awake if he was speaking / moving around I said as I woke when he turned around etc

But he’s 2.5??? If he wanted or needed your attention he would have been shouting and jumping on you. No 2YO toddler has the impulse control or the empathy to think I really need Mummy right now, but oh look she must be tired, so no problem, I’ll wait and I’m going to lie here silently and let her sleep. If only!!

This is a total non issue. Stop thinking about it and carry on with your day.

Um even if he was thinking mummy is sleeping so I’ll sit here quietly for an hour so what? It’s 5am perfectly reasonable to be asleep 😅 if mine the same age ever wakes that early he isn’t allowed out of his cot and we will just sit near him/lie on his floor to show him it’s still sleep time and there’s no fun or loud talking etc it’s boring and quiet.

But like others have said I highly doubt he has that impulse control at 2.5 so he was probably chilled/asleep too.

Don’t feel bad. Beds for sleeping. :)

Apart from everything else, it is TOTALLY FINE for him not to have your attention all the time. In fact it is a good thing. So don’t worry x

This is what I do every morning with DS. I don't get out of bed till a reasonable time. DS usually comes into bed to cuddle and doze. He might watch paw patrol I'm bed with me or he can play, we have a baby gate that means he can only be between our rooms, no where else in the house. But it's not time to get up when he decides to get up, especially not 5 bloody am.

Even if we were both wide awake I would have kept my eyes shut and ignored any attempts to chat (except the odd 'It's still sleepy time so we all have to be quiet and rest" where needed) TBH. The last thing he needs to learn is if he wakes up at 5, he gets to come for cuddles and chats or anything else that's fun or interesting. 'Boring' is the best outcome here.

A 2.5 year old knows what sleep is. He would have been happy watching you and feeling warm and safe in your bed. X

Also is he was cross about not getting attention if he's anything like my toddler he would make loud noise or whack you in the face so you'd have been woken up!

2.5 year olds tend to be pretty vocal if they want attention and aren't getting it.

My youngest loves to come into our bed for a cuddle in the morning, we doze and she lies awake and content. I think she likes the closeness and the calm.

This is definitely a none issue! None of my kids were given my attention before 6:30am. It’s not a reasonable time to be up and that is sleep time. (Unless they were ill etc obviously) but before 6:30 was quiet / sleep time. They could play in their rooms / lay in my bed quietly but I wasn’t encouraging any fun at that time.

Nothing wrong at all and probably best he doesn't get attention when he's waking at 5am or he will always be up at that time. If mine came in that early I would have put them back to bed or brought them into mine but told them it's still sleeptime and we need to be quiet

This is a massive non issue.
At 5 am you SHOULD be ignoring him (unless unwell or distressed). 5am is sleep time, not entertainment time! And FWIW he should be in his own bed.