Overwhelmed with parenting/housework !

[Hellobell]

Hey mums/ dads 😊

so I need to know how some of you manage to do it all, work, keep the house tidy and parent !

I have two kids under 4 and work 3 days a week but I’m not managing it all.

• my house is a constant mess and might be clean for a few hours after I clean, toys everywhere, cloths, cushions from sofa on the floor, crumbs and dog hair you name it !

• I’m never prepared for tea in the evening and hate the thinking about what we are going to eat.

•I want to be the best mum for my children, but I’m ratty and always telling them I need to clean when they ask me to play.

and obviously in between this I don’t have time for anything for myself, how do you all do it ? Any tips or advice ?

thank you 🙏

Don’t have pets or children!

Have a low at TOMM method and adapt.

Declutter and toy rotation.

Meal plan online shopping, try and have a list of 14 meals which work. Slow cooker.

Rountines, morning one, evening ones and weekly one like meal plan and order on a Thursday. The more organised you are the more mental space you create.

And robot hoover.

I think you have to accept that your house will be less clean than you would like.

If you work, have young children and have dogs, what in all honesty do you expect?

The situation has been made worse by silly fake twats on instagram bragging about their clean, white homes which only results in making other women feel bad.

Your house is lived in. It's not a show home. That's ok.

Don't tidy up too often. If kids are awakez they'll be toys and cushions out everywhere. Expect that. Accept that. Tidy up with the kids before bedtime/dinner time - make it part of your routine.

Make sure everything has a space to go/to be out away. Have a clear out of toys no longer played with/less often played with. Less to play with, less to get out, less to tidy. No less fun though!

Clean with the kids. Little and often. Get kids to help tidy up after breakfast/lunch/dinner as routine (simple - like taking bowls into the kitchen!). Give them a duster and a job (skirting boards, their play kitchen/whatever). Don't be too precious about cleaning. Pick your priority areas and focus on those for 15m at a time.

When kids are contained and happy in the bath, clean the bathroom around them. Rinse the bath after every use!

As soon as your come.back downstairs after bed time, stick the washing machine on a quick wash cycle and hang it before bed. You can move the clothes horse out into the garden the next morning if it's sunny!

Meal plan. Pick an evening, the night before you go food shopping/receive delivery of food shop, sit down with paper and pen and plan your meals for the entire week until your next food shop and write your shopping list. It saves money too and cuts down on waste, it saves you the time of having to look through the cupboards to see what you have in and the time to work out what to cook because you already know. It gives you the opportunity to try new dishes because you can make sure you have all the ingredients in advance easily. You'll buy less things that you don't need.

Get a slow cooker. Use it. You can prep it the night before and stick it straight on the next morning ready for dinner that evening at a reasonable time.

Take time to yourself. Pick an evening. Claim it.

And the TV is not the devil. Let the kids watch 2 episodes of something to give yourself 20mins to food prep or clean one small area or do one small job if you need to, or to simply exist with a brew.

My kids are 3 and 1, my DH is away with work a lot and I also work part time like you. We are out every day having fun, he house is tidy enough and clean enough at the main touch points. It isn't deep cleaned too often! We live here.

Go easy on yourself!

Good luck

Can you afford a cleaner? Worth every penny IMO!

Prioritise playing with your children and lower your standards for how clean your house should be.

I also have 2 children under 4, and work 3 days a week (though DH has the children while I work, which does help as he's able to do some cleaning/ tidying/ cooking).

Some things I find helpful:
Meal planning, slow cooker and batch cooking. For instance, I'll make 3 or 4 lasagnes one evening and put them in the freezer. Then I have a "ready meal" to hand. Don't worry too much about constantly cooking different meals - think of a set of meals you're happy to make, write that down and put it on the fridge, then when you meal plan use that list.

Cleaning list: I have a list each week (goes on a four weekly rotation, though obviously most stuff is on every week and some things more than once) of every cleaning job I need to do. I print this out and cross out the jobs once done. It means if I have a spare five minutes I can just get a quick job done - you can get through a lot like that.

Get the children to "help" with cleaning when suitable (so not with cleaning the loo, but sweeping the floor would be fine, for instance). Same goes for cooking - they can mix, or get things out for you, and the older one could learn to user a safety peeler, and generally children enjoy this.

Also, at the end of the day, get the children to help you tidy up before tea. Make it routine. Generally, the deal in my house is that if they help tidy with no complaints they can pick a book or game (Orchard Toys type) that I'll do with them before tea. This helps to motivate them. (This mostly applies to the older one, but the younger one does join in.) Apparently learning how to sort objects in by putting them away is very good for their development as well, so it's a win win!

Have a big clear out and declutter. Your stuff as well as the kids. Then start a toy rotation. Look up Montessori toy rotation to see how toys can be swapped in and out and how they can be displayed in child-friendly ways. Kids play with their toys better like this. If they have too many toys out all at once they just end up dumping them everywhere.

Don't worry about toys out in the day. That's normal with kids, just have a strict clear up time in the evening and make sure everything has a place to go. If tidy up is too complicated, young children can't help. It needs to be really simple: basket for soft toys, basket for cars, basket for building blocks etc. Again, never have too much out at once.