Hating newborn stage second time around

[Mum7644885]

Just that basically and a bit of a rant because it’s 2am and I’m tearing my hair out.

I have a 3 year old and 1 month old, I am hating this experience 2nd time around. Baby number 2 screams all the time, struggles with wind horrendously and then gets overtired because she gets so unsettled, then screams the whole house down. She’s such an unsettled baby and I don’t recall my first being like this.

I’m finding things really tough. At first I was okay, but the screaming has since increased and now I’m getting barely any sleep of a night, nothing i do seems to help the baby when she’s over tired, she doesn’t even want to breastfeed once she’s gottten herself all worked up.

I wish I could go back in time to just myself partner and eldest daughter. The thought of being up in 3/4 hours when my eldest wakes up and having to get through another day fills me with dread

@Mum7644885 how are you getting on now? My daughter is 1 month old. Toddler is 2. It is miserable! She screams all evening. Definitely mum guilt with My toddler. When will I start enjoying this??

@Vkyz oh you are very much in the thick of it, I feel for you big time but I promise it will I’ll get better. My youngest is now 8 months and she is lovely, she still has her moments but I actually enjoy her now, she has started some nursery sessions and everything is levelling out a bit, still very hard but I don’t want to constantly tear my hair out haha. It’s definitely substantially better than it was, all the feeding issues I had with her seem like a distant memory and she sleeps okay. My 3 nearly 4 year old is doing great also and is a great big sister.

Just know it does get better, ride the storm, wake up every day, do the best you can but know it’s totally normal to not be loving the time you are in, newborns can be super hard work and it’s so so difficult juggling everything when you have another child xx

I’m very similar to you, 3 year old and one month old. The sleep deprivation is horrid especially when you know you have an older child up at 6am no matter what kind of night you had.

im actually kind of having the opposite experience to you this time, I’m enjoying the newborn phase more this time as she’s an ‘easy’ baby so far, just sleeps and doesn’t seem to have colic or reflux like my first which made the first 3 months hellish. Although she still doesn’t sleep very long stretches at night and takes her ages to get down for the first stretch, it’s so far more pleasant as she isn’t crying all the time like my first.

im currently finding myself losing patience with my first at the moment which makes me feel so sad and guilty. He’s probably just being his normal self and I’m less patient or if he is acting out a bit it’s just due to all the change which is understandable. I feel awful but I keep shouting and I feel distant from him. Hopefully I’ll get it back once the second is in more of a routine.

could your baby have colic? as I said, our first did and it was hell so I feel your pain, I can’t imagine how hard it must be with an older child too. We found an early bedtime routine worked really well, we did it from 6 weeks, putting him to bed at 8. And we also got omeprazole which was recommended to us by a paediatric nurse and it worked really well for reflux which is part of why he was crying so much in the evening.

good luck hope it gets better soon x

Ok sorry didn’t realise this was an old thread that had been resurrected!

My first was like this and it was CMPA and silent reflux