What age did you find most challenging with your child?

[lavalamplady]

I have a 1year old - interested to know which age people found the biggest challenge

First 2 years with no sleep and relentless need for me. DD went through a tricky phase when she was around 10 and was getting bullied in school. And lockdown and the aftermath was tough, but that was due to outside circumstances rather than it being a difficult age. DS is generally pretty chill yet responsible so far, but he's only 14 so there might be future problems. DD will be 18 soon, and her teen years have been genuinely delightful.

Dc1 - newborn stage
Dc2 - toddler stage
Both still young though so not reached teenage years yet!

Annoying at different ages.
Toddlers wanting independence but not quite capable battle. Teenagers, think they know it all and the death stares... oh the death stares!

15 months-2 years. Mobile, irrational, no sense of danger and struggling to express their needs. Awful. But my eldest is only 7 so I may rethink that in a few years!

My eldest is 18, I'd say 2-3 and 13-15.
My youngest is only 8 and I'd say probably birth - 4 because she was a poor sleeper and I spent 4 yrs permanently knackered.

13-15 years.

Newborn was hellish. He fed 12hours a day, screemed 8 hours, and napped (in 15 min blocks) for the rest of the time.
Preschool and lower primary was awesome. Teenage not going to badly so far.

14-16 most definitely.

Mine are teens / preteens so not sure what my age has to do with it? Teens have been the hardest so far

So far I'd say 18mo-3yrs. I have 2 DS, one is almost 10, the other 6. This current age is brilliant, they're both great company and my oldest is finding some independence, walking home from school etc. I've no idea what the future holds and do worry about what we may come up against in the teenage years but that's my answer as it stands currently.

It's interesting my youngest, who was very HARD work as a baby is actually quite a pleasant pre-teen whereas my other relatively easy baby who slept and ate fine and happily sat drawing/reading ... absolutely nightmare of a teen!!. Maybe we get rewarded if we get the hard work out the way early on 🙂 (giving hope here for those struggling with babies/toddlers)!

DS1 - ages 5-11. In hindsight, I think there was a lot going on in his world for him to deal with that we didn't really acknowledge could cause tricky behaviour. It's left me feeling a bit of a failure, but I can't undo the past sadly

DS2 - terror aged 2/3. Absolute dream ever since (now the dreaded 15!)

I remember a comment once saying that if you have a child whose personality is generally to be eager to please that's great when the person they want to please is you and their teachers, but often extremely stressful in their teen years when that focus shifts to their peers. And while that view is lacking in any sort of nuance and doesn't apply in a lot of cases, I think there is a kernel of truth in it. I also think that when you parent a child who is challenging at a young age, you have to set up the sort of flexible trust-based authority that works well with teenagers when your children are much younger, and you get to work it out when there is more scope for low-stakes failure until you get it right..

But ultimately, I think most of the differences are down to chance.

Anything is much harder with no sleep. Even with an 18 year old looking back the no sleep months were the hardest. It’s like torture.

6-11 are gorgeous.

Teens can be brilliant too though. Who wouldn’t rather be watching sex and the city and eating pizza with them rather than reading tedious bedtime stories?! And told you “slay” in one of your outfits?!

1.5 to 3 for me.

Teens for one for sure!!