Can someone talk some sense into me?

[funderama]

NC for this in case outing.

My ds1 who is 13 has gone abroad on a school trip. He has done this before in y6 but this feels different as that time he was with the students and teachers he had known for years throughout primary whereas now, he doesn't actually know any of the other kids very well who are going, and I don't know any of them at all and have only met the teachers once. He has flown- I hate flying- so was a nervous wreck yesterday tracking his flight the whole way, and now I keep checking his location via the AirTag on his bag. He has sent a couple of messages and pics, says he is having fun, but I keep saying to dh, what if he is just saying that and he's really homesick and unhappy. DH thinks I am being ridiculous and need to chill out and that I shouldn't text asking if he is ok as it will freak him out.

And all yesterday and today I've just had this great sense of sadness that he is far away from us and growing up, and I'm wondering if I'm like this now, how am I going to cope when he grows up and moves out etc. I know it's the natural way of things but it's upset me more than I thought for some reason.

I'm probably just tried and emotional as had to drop him off in the middle of the night and haven't slept well since he has been away, but I really need to put on my big girl pants don't I?!

Yes, you do. All this worrying is achieving nothing.

I am definitely a worrier especially when it comes to travel. I always get anxious before we go away and imagine it all going wrong.

So, yes, as you say you know this is a but irrational and you do need to ‘get over it’.

But our own feelings are never to be just dismissed, and it’s OK to talk to yourself with kindness. Think of it this way, you’ve identified that in the future you need to feel better about increased separation from your DC. It’s healthy and you want them to feel secure and not have to worry about Mum worrying. So now you know that’s a challenge for future you, how can you address that? Do you need more time doing your own hobbies now your DC is growing up? What’s been on the backburner during these caring years? Or if you’re naturally a bit anxious then how can you challenge those thoughts - might some CBT be good?

Be kind to yourself. But don’t ‘borrow trouble’ as my Nan would say - trust that your DS is telling you the truth, and having a good time.

Thank you, don't borrow trouble is good advice!

It's all normal & trust that he's having a fun adventure. Don't pass your anxiety on. Enjoy a few days not having to think about him and time to do your own stuff.