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Parenting

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Coparenting gone bad

5 replies

Strawberriesandcreammm · 02/06/2024 18:50

behalf of friend

my son is with his mum 5 days a week with me 2 days and nights weekly recently H has been very teary quite emotional with a lot of things even sleep time or random bursts of attitude H disclosed to me yesterday evening that mum and step dad argue daily and step dad comes and goes a lot and last week they got physical with each other resulting in step dad getting hit H was told to take his younger brother B (aged 1) to his room while they continued the argument I want to address this as I cannot stand H being around this and I feel like a crap dad as I don’t want to address something that gets H punished as she will make him not tell me things even worse go back to restricting me from seeing H to hide what’s happening I don’t communicate often with mum due to her abusive narcissistic ways which involve her obsessing over my life so I’ve made changes to only stick to collecting H on certain days which obviously is upsetting for me as I’d love to message everyday to see how he is but she ignores and only messages about my partner and how much she dislikes her even though my partner would do anything to help if that was ever needed my main concern is what H is seeing what he’s exposed to as when he comes to visit he just isn’t himself.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
HcbSS · 02/06/2024 18:52

Do you have a court order in place?
If not keep your child with you and let this excuse of a mother fight you through the system and prove she is capable of keeping him safe.

ManilowBarry · 02/06/2024 18:55

'I don’t communicate often with mum due to her abusive narcissistic ways' -

I read the post as it being from a man but then I read that and it's stock female Mumsnet description.

Is this some kind of a reverse and the mum is worried the dad is going to report the fighting/

Strawberriesandcreammm · 02/06/2024 18:56

response from post writer
we do not mum has asked for mediation but we will not get anywhere it’s her way or no way I am pushing for court currently as I want a parental agreement as she keeps depriving me of my son in order to get more money and give me less days I was originally having H 4 days a week now 2 because she said she needs the money H said he doesn’t want his step dad to leave as he already has lost his real dad and that brother B will miss his daddy like he does it’s tearing me apart but I just get called a rubbish dad all the time because mum can take H to school or even spend money on him once I’ve paid her and sorted my life I don’t have enough to treat H to big things like his mum and it really makes me feel awful and she says I need to do more for him but I have a 6 day a week job

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Strawberriesandcreammm · 02/06/2024 18:59

ManilowBarry · 02/06/2024 18:55

'I don’t communicate often with mum due to her abusive narcissistic ways' -

I read the post as it being from a man but then I read that and it's stock female Mumsnet description.

Is this some kind of a reverse and the mum is worried the dad is going to report the fighting/

repost from writer
no sorry if it sounds this way my friend is posting on my behalf mum was a serial cheater when we were together she lied about everything made me think I was going crazy one day I found the proof enough to leave but tore me apart to leave H so I tried remaining as present as possible even though I couldn’t look at her we managed for a year to co parent well until I met a new partner and the abuse via calls emails messages and turning up to her work started so I had to separate myself advice from police to keep her out of my social life and stick to only collecting H

OP posts:
ManilowBarry · 02/06/2024 19:35

I think I'm getting confused by H meaning your child and thinking it refers to being husband!

Apologies.

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