Do I entertain DD too much?

[Ginspirational]

I have an almost 2 year old DD who does a mix of nursery during the week and in laws/myself and DH both have a non-working day.

DD is high energy, easily bored and loves to be outside so when it’s me and her (DH works in retail so it’s usually just us on weekends), I take her out in the morning usually to the park or a little walk around the shops and then after her nap we will go to soft play / the farm / a different park / play date. This is religious, we are out the door by 8:30/9, home for a nap, back out at 2 and then home at 4:30ish. She won’t sit and watch tv, and she will play briefly by herself with colouring/lego etc but will ask for my input after about 5 minutes so honestly I find for my own sanity that getting out is easier.

DH seems to think I should just let her be bored for a bit and that by keeping her constantly entertained I’m not teaching her how to just play independently. Is this true?

It sounds like she has a great little routine and enjoys being outside!
If it works for you both then let it continue. I have a 2 year old and a baby so I find I feel guilty that my 2 year old plays independently.

I would say you could try have a morning or an afternoon in and read a book etc then let her explore her toys and follow her lead. Let her have some uninterrupted play and she will come up with her own play stories.

Some DC just don't play independently. My DC1 was like that and it's exhausting so I completely understand why you'd get out and about. Do what works for you, and tell your DH to stop backseat parenting.

I'm very impressed that you have the energy honestly!
For your sanity keep taking her out as much as you do! Also the benefits of minimising screen time far outweigh anything else.
It is true that kids need to learn how to be bored and stick it out, like if you rarely have her in a queue in the supermarket for instance then she may embarrass you with a few tantrums when she is older but it sounds like she won't like a waiting room or queue no matter what you do!

I have a similar routine with my 2yo and I like taking her out to lots of different activities through the week (I'm a sahm so she is with just me 5 days a week). We have loads of good toddler activities available nearby so I like to do as much as we can. She can play independently at home so I haven't found it to be true that providing lots of entertainment stops them from learning to play independently. She potters around with her toys while I'm getting ready or cooking dinner and happily invents activities for herself without any input from me.

My toddler has always been the same. We can be out 10-3/4 easily most days. But the first 3 or 4 hours at home in the morning he plays happily with his toys and the same in the evening before bed.

Some children do take longer than others to learn how to amuse themselves.

My eldest seemed to take forever to learn but he was an only child until he was 7.5 years old.

The two I had after that had to learn faster because I was obviously too busy to be their constant entertainment.

But it'll work itself out eventually.

It’s fine what you’re doing but I do agree with him that if she isn’t getting the chance to ever just play at home she won’t learn to! Plus going out all day everyday must be expensive.

A friend of my child was clearly entertained like this and it didn't stop.

Their parent arranges stuff for every minute of the weekend and school holidays. They could be out all day at a full on activity and they'd still be looking to plan in an online gaming slot before tea time

I truly don't think this child knows how to be bored

Thanks everyone, I think I do it more for my own mental health, I actually think I struggle sitting in doing nothing and maybe I’m rubbing off on her.

We didn’t go anywhere this afternoon, just let her entertain herself in the garden and she did to an extent.. I still was asked to play football, play doh, boats in the water, and squeezed my backside down a kids slide. When we are out at the park etc she is so much better at doing her own thing, but then I find imaginative play exhausting.

Imaginative play is awful. Parents in previous decades never worried about it. I do find if I busy myself with something boring like cleaning out cupboards (with a podcast going in one ear to keep me sane) my dcs have played more on their own.

I'm also a huge fan of getting out of the house - toddlers are basically like puppies, they need walking several times a day, so I am out a lot with my two (a 3 year old and 11 month old). However, as with every skill, they also need to learn how to both be bored, and how to play by themselves, and as her parent, it's your job to help teach that skill - if you're always out of the house then she's never going to learn. It might be the easy option now, but it won't serve you well in the long run. It's about a balance.

My eldest has definitely improved after I've put a bit of effort into teaching her how to play by herself - it helps if you set up whatever activity she likes, dedicate the first 10 minutes to play together, then you take a step back and leave her playing solo. If she tries to re-engage you again, play together (this time for only a few minutes), and then step back again. And repeat, repeat, repeat, reducing the time spent playing together a little each time. She might not last long to start with, but if you keep at it, she will learn. It just takes time and practice like any new skill they have to learn

While two is quite young as mine have gotten older I've started telling them to "go find something to do" while I'm doing cooking or housework. I think there is a balance between giving your DC attention and never allowing them to be bored.

I think different children are different and also go through lots of phases. My 1st never really played by herself and we were always out and about like you (possibly because I needed it more than her!), but my 2nd has always been able to play imaginatively on her own and they used to play together endlessly so I had a few years of not getting asked and it being easy to stay in and do my own thing. Now she is 11 and won’t play with her sister but amuses herself for hours reading, watching tv and listening to music/singing/dancing and wouldn’t do anything I decided anyway, but youngest now doesn’t have a playmate so asks me to play all the time!

I hated imaginative play, but there are lots of other things you can do.
Mine loved jigsaw type puzzles, playing with Duplo, toy cars, block towers, threading games, sharing books etc. I didn't have to join in much with these - I could be in the same room and just make suggestions once I'd got them started on the activity.
I wouldn't leave a 2 yo to colour unsupervised - but if I was in the room they would colour and paint.