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Original poster

Mediation

7 replies

PinkChampange · 01/06/2024 09:53

Hi. Just wondered if anyone has gone through mediation and was it successful?

Did anyone have to go through court afterwards? My husband is trying to see his children but his ex stopped contact so we've gone down the mediation route and just wanted some honest advice and opinions

Thanks in advance.

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Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 09:56

That's really sad what reason did she give for no contact? Does he have parental responsibility? (If so there's nothing stopping him collecting them at school and seeing them there, although that could be confusing and or embarrassing for them depending on their age).
If she has reasons eg he is unsafe (in her view) or has been very inconsistent then he should think of solutions for these issues and be prepared to apologize and make a plan in mediation

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 09:58

I'm about to do mediation with my awful ex, he has been inconsistent and careless with the baby (see my threads 'ex DP burnt my baby') but he has just moved in with his new girlfriend so had suddenly decided he wants 50/50 care despite having no prior experience with babies 🫣 and my baby never having spent a night away from me before. I don't 'have' to do mediation as there has been domestic abuse but I want to keep it away from court orders etc

Original poster
PinkChampange · 01/06/2024 10:15

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 09:56

That's really sad what reason did she give for no contact? Does he have parental responsibility? (If so there's nothing stopping him collecting them at school and seeing them there, although that could be confusing and or embarrassing for them depending on their age).
If she has reasons eg he is unsafe (in her view) or has been very inconsistent then he should think of solutions for these issues and be prepared to apologize and make a plan in mediation

So a bit of a back story. He has EUPD recently diagnosed back in October 23. Before the diagnosis he was seeing his children every weekend he was on ok terms with his ex. He got sectioned afterwards she still allowed him to see them. The. Back in January she just decided he wasn't allowed to see them. She said she felt unsafe. But I have a feeling it's because of me being with him. Now I've offered to stay well out the way and not be involved until she feels
Comfortable but she still says no. My husband has proof of how she used to abuse him on his phone (it will be used in court if required) but not once has he been violent. It seems like all the time it was ideal for her he could see them but now she has no use for him he can't. He has offered her to just do FaceTime for the time being or a contact center so she feels happier at that. Which she agreed. Then changed her mind hours later saying her and the kids were better off without him in their lives.

He's tried messaging and phoning but the answer is always no. As stated I've even said I will stay well out the way as I'm also co parenting with my ex and we had the same rule 6 months till the new person meets the kid (we've been together over a year me and my husband)

I absolutely don't begrudge her for wanting security and safety and I absolutely understand if she doesn't want me around her kids for as long as it takes. We just want her to let him have access to the girls we went to CAB and was advised to go down mediation. He has his first solo session next week. So that's why I was asking as we want to know if it works or if we need to prepare for court battle.

Sorry for the long winded reply x

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Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 10:19

I guess she needs to talk about the reasons she thinks they're better off without him. I imagine the mediator will give her a bit of a talking to about that when they have their 1:1. My mediator gave me a couple of home truths about legalities and 'if this went to court' despite not being my lawyer as they are also a lawyer. So it might work. The supervised contact sounds sensible if she is worried he could have another mental health episode.

Are you ok? It seems a rush to marry someone you've only known a year who's been getting sectioned?

Original poster
PinkChampange · 01/06/2024 10:35

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 10:19

I guess she needs to talk about the reasons she thinks they're better off without him. I imagine the mediator will give her a bit of a talking to about that when they have their 1:1. My mediator gave me a couple of home truths about legalities and 'if this went to court' despite not being my lawyer as they are also a lawyer. So it might work. The supervised contact sounds sensible if she is worried he could have another mental health episode.

Are you ok? It seems a rush to marry someone you've only known a year who's been getting sectioned?

Yeah. Absolutely
Thanks for that. I don't want her to feel pressured but at the same time it's not fair on the kids to be missing out and not seeing his kids is not helping his recovery.

Yes I'm okay and yes it is quick but we're from a gypsy background (now I'm going to wait for some hate 🥺) so for us it's completely normal.

X

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 10:37

Just checking that you hadn't been rushed into it, it sounds like it's normal to get married quickly in your culture and you wanted to.

I think yes in law it's all about the kids right to see and have a relationship with their father so that's the angle your husband and the mediator should and will take.

Original poster
PinkChampange · 01/06/2024 10:47

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 10:37

Just checking that you hadn't been rushed into it, it sounds like it's normal to get married quickly in your culture and you wanted to.

I think yes in law it's all about the kids right to see and have a relationship with their father so that's the angle your husband and the mediator should and will take.

Oh bless you that's very sweet. I appreciate the though (: yes all marriage was jointly consensual.

Yea absolutely thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I will take everything on board. And good luck with your situation. I really hope you get the results you want as well. X

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