Baby cries everytime they see their uncle?

[Rldowning]

LO has just this very day turned 9 months. She used to be perfectly fine with other members of the family until the last couple of months especially.

Granted, she doesn't see her uncle often, so I understand her memory isn't quite so good but she only saw him 3 days ago and yet today she still reacted negatively.

She maybe sees him once every one or two weeks recently, although we have had longer stints, but she hadn't seen her Auntie for a couple of months and yet she let her come up close and hold her, but when her uncle tried she cries?

Thought it was Ok today as he sat close to LO and was fine, but when she thought she was going to be held that was it...

Has this happened to anyone else and is there a way I can help with this so that they can start bonding more?

Yes, that age is a classic for becoming clingy and suddenly not liking people who they were previously happy with.
one of mine went off men and another one disliked anyone with glasses 🤷‍♀️

She will grow out of it. Don’t push it, keep her feeling safe.

yep same with mine at about 9 months, with my brother - I think it's his beard

My baby was like this was my ex MIL. She was a wonderful woman and I loved her. It was pretty embarrassing. She did grow out of it thankfully!

Niece did the same with DH. My sister said it was an evolutionary thing to not trust non-familial men?

I have no evidence for that, but interestingly it seemed to be men who had facial hair (niece's father is cleanshaven).

She'll grow out of it. Mine was exactly the same. She used to be terrified of her only uncle until she was maybe 1 / 1.5 and even after that she still shyed away from him. Now she loves him, takes him into her den in MILs garden, he pushes her around in her scooter etc. Don't stress, she's got a lifetime to warm up

My baby did the same thing with my MIL but only here which was strange
Took around 6months and now at 22 months she loves her

sometimes if babies see a relative who is 'similar but not the same' as mum or dad, they get much more upset than seeing a stranger. so if uncle looks / sounds / smells like dad, that is very disconcerting to baby and they get freaked out. if all the adults are positive towards uncle and tell baby that it is OK, that will help.

they will grow out of it.

This, don't force it just get him to say hi from the other side of the room and then ignore the baby.

My DS was like this for ages with his uncle!! Couldn't stand him, acted terrified of him and really did give my poor bro a complex

....fast forward 18 months and completely different relationship, he loves him to bits now! All good, it became a running joke in the end. He was also the same with his grandpa, it was exhausting!

My nephew did that with dh who found it really difficult.

Every time he looked at dh he would start hysterically crying. Turn him around so he couldn’t see dh and he would settle, be happy as Larry, then he would spot dh again and burst out crying.

only lasted about 2-3 months.

Gosh, seems like this is more normal than I expected! I guess it'll just be a waiting game then until she decides he's actually alright 😆 Thank you all. It's just a shame to see as I know he's so desperate to be close with her and it's so sad to see her cry when he just wants to be nice, guess we'll all have to be patient!

Has he got a beard?

Yes my niece did this. She was fine with her dad and grandad but any other male relative or friend and she would burst out crying if they held her. She grew out of it eventually.

my eldest went through this phase when she was small, she disliked all men she got over that after a few months but then had an issue with men with bald heads lol my poor dad or cousin couldn't go near her. she's 13 now and Im happy to announce that she no longer has an aversion to her male family members :)

My nephew did this with my husband (his uncle) but he’s 6 years old now and totally fine! It’s just a phase!

My son did this with my Uncle when he was that age. I think it's common for babies to be like that especially with some men. He's 2 now and loves to hang around with my Uncle, even though he doesn't see him very often!

My youngest developed a hysterical aversion to black men. Inconvenient as we live in London. And as she is herself black. Eventually she traded up for a phobia about policemen.

Don't push her to "bond". A baby that young doesn't need to bond with uncles. And her comfort is more important than his wishes.

Dd2 used to cry when she saw my mum's elderly female friend. I think she just looked different than dd2 was used to as a baby. She got used to her though.

Yep it happened to both my sister's each time a different sister. Which was hilarious 🤣. Literally both would be hysterical when the "wrong" sister appeared.

They grew out of it and are all as thick as thieves now.

Apparently I took a dislike to my uncle as a baby. He had a beard and my dad didn't, so I suspect it was that.

He still teases me about it 40 years later! 🤷