Birthday present etiquette

[MsBubbles85]

We have been invited to the 2nd birthday of one of the kids from NCT in two weeks but we can't make it as we are away.
There is also a joint birthday party this weekend for 2 other kids from the same NCT group and everyone from the group will attend this one.
Should I bring a present for the kid which birthday we can't attend? This family will host a picnic later in the summer for the NCT group to celebrate all kids, so maybe better to give it there?
It is our first year having birthday parties and I am not from the UK so I am not sure what's expected/the done thing.
Thank you!

I’d just give a small present to the DC of any parties you do attend.

There is no obligation to give a gift if you aren't going to the party. It would be thoughtful if you did, though. Perhaps a birthday card and a £5 book would be more than enough spent on a 2 year old.

Thank you! All the parties are bring your own picnic, cake provided. I have bought the same £3 colouring book for all the kids and a card.

We’ve had similar with our NCT birthday parties, some people cannot make it as it clashes with their own birthday celebrations (understandable)
but we have only bought a gift for parties we have gone to. Others have done the same too.
often sent a card though, but not a gift unless been at the party.

In this case, I would have got two gifts but reduced the value of each gift if I was on a tight budget. However, no one should expect gifts at all, so it was poor form to be off with you for 'only' bring one.

Side note - you've put your question as a reply to someone else's thread. A lot of people won't read it and will instead answer the months old question in the op. You'd be better starting a new thread.

Just seen the op is actually quite recent, but it's still better to start your own thread, as your answer will be lost amongst theirs.

Ooop… i didn’t know what I was doing. I just reported it to be taken off as I realise what I did. I’m new to this. Will try start this as a thread now. Thank you for replying

We’re similar to you - our boys are exactly two years apart. Joint parties etc. I wouldn’t expect gifts from anyone but I def wouldn’t expect one from boy 1 friend to boy 2. Likewise unless my child was invited to twins birthday party I’d only buy for the twin my child was friends with. I think twin mum is being unreasonable, I bet she doesn’t buy for all the siblings of parties her children are invited to!

As it’s NCT friends I would get a gift for all the children, if it was just a normal school/nursery party I would usually only give gifts to ones we attend

Depends how close you are to the parent/child. For me birthday presents are different things. For long-term friends'/close friends' kids they are a symbol of affection, for other kids they are more a "thank you for the fun you've given my child at the party, and what you've spent on entertaining and feeding him." My child is 11 now, but I'd say in his school class, kid that lives opposite and he plays with for hours at weekends/afterschool and kid that he met on his first day in reception, and has fairly frequent play dates and sleepovers with, would both get presents even if he couldn't go to their parties, the rest of the class would not.

If you don’t go to the party, you don’t need to do a present.

There will be so many presents.

And so many parties!